Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Ms. Mel DeCuir!
And see how rad those inks are! (Compare with uninked version on the blog post below)
Friday, January 23, 2009
An inker for Into The Mystic
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Ms. Mel DeCuir!
And see how rad those inks are! (Compare with uninked version on the blog post below)
Monday, December 1, 2008
THE ART
Drawn by Serena Guerra.
And probably the last post I'll make for a bit. Enjoy!(for pages 1-10)
I'm going to take this opportunity to point out that Serena is a freaking WIZARD. She got every character down exactly as I was envisioning them, with very minimal description from my part. She absolutely rocks it and I hope this gets big for no other reason than the world needs to see more of this woman's art.
Anyway...gushing over. Tell me what you think, of the whole thing.
And probably the last post I'll make for a bit. Enjoy!(for pages 1-10)
I'm going to take this opportunity to point out that Serena is a freaking WIZARD. She got every character down exactly as I was envisioning them, with very minimal description from my part. She absolutely rocks it and I hope this gets big for no other reason than the world needs to see more of this woman's art.Anyway...gushing over. Tell me what you think, of the whole thing.
The Second Script, Plus Art!
As Promised!
Into The Mystic Issue #2
Chris Jones
Page 1: A gigantic one page spread. Jimmy is butting a policeman who has come into the house with the end of his shotgun. This should be from a frontal perspective, with the cop’s back to us and we’re looking at Jimmy. Lyle and Chuck are in the back, hiding behind a table, barely visible and still connected by a chain. The smash to the cop’s face should be tangible; a little bit of blood, but not too much.
SFX: CRUUUUNCH
Narrative Box(top right): Throughout my life, I’ve always done my best to avoid saying, “This can’t possibly get any worse”, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from television, movies and comic books, it’s that, along with “What’s the worst that could happen?”, there is no greater signifier that the speaker is both a jinx AND dumb as shit, not to mention that it can always, always, ALWAYS get worse …
Narrative Box: (bottom left):…but I’m going to swing for the fences and say that this can’t possibly get any worse.
At Bottom: HOUSE PARTY-PART 2
Page 2, Panel 1: Partygoers are running for the back of the house, screaming; some are ducking for cover, some are just frozen in fear. This should surround Lyle and Chuck, who are still hiding under the table. Jimmy has smashed a cop into what remains of the television.
Lyle: I hate you.
Chuck: Don’t hate me, hate whoever fucked you up so bad when you were a kid.
Lyle: Excuse me?
Panel 2: From a frontal view, we see Chuck turning to look at Lyle from his perspective, so we just see the front of Chuck’s face and whatever’s going on behind her. Right behind her we see a police officer being kicked in the chest by Jimmy. Bullets are whizzing by him at this point.
Chuck: Lyle, almost everyone has something like Doctor Jimmy living inside of them, but you usually have to dig really, really deep to find it. Sometimes it takes days. I spent maybe three minutes digging around your soul and then…this guy just ambushed me. He got out of you before I even had a chance to-
Panel 3: A cop has been sent flying into the table, from the side opposite Lyle and Chuck. The table isn’t quite broken, but there’s a big, obvious crack caused by the cop’s landing. Lyle is grabbing Chuck by the wrist and overtly yelling to be heard.
Lyle: Hold that thought, huh?
Panel 4: The two of them are in mid-dive towards the kitchen counter. Lyle is kind of swinging around to the other side of the counter, and Chuck is being dragged along, trying to keep up. In the background, Jimmy is holding two policemen aloft by their necks, while being shot in the chest at the same time by a cop behind him.
Panel 5: Lyle and Chuck are leaning up against the counter, silhouetted, in profile. Off to the left of them we can see Jimmy headbutting an officer. There should be a slight liquid spray, in silhouette, coming from the cop. The chain between Jimmy and Lyle is also made a little bit more obvious in this shot than in others.
Lyle: *whew*…So what’s your point?
Chuck: My point is that things like Doctor Jimmy are usually buried so deep in a person’s soul that they can’t even crawl to the front of the heart, much less take physical form and attack somebody. For Jimmy to be able to beat the shit out of a squad of police-
Panel 6: Close-up on Lyle, looking kind of flustered and maybe a little sad, with the side of Chuck’s face visible ever so slightly.
Lyle: There must be something really, really wrong with me.
Chuck: Yeah, pretty much.
Page 3, Panel 1: Doctor Jimmy is leaning over the counter, leering at the two of them. He’s startled them with his appearance. He’s wearing a bloodied cop badge in his hat.
Doc Jimmy: Time to go, children.
Lyle: -Gah!
Chuck: Alright, yeah. Let’s get out of here.
Panel 2: Jimmy smashes down the back door with his foot. Wood splinters about.
Panel 3: Lyle and Chuck are dashing out the door while Jimmy holds it open for them. He’s firing his shotgun out at the police. The shot should be in three-quarters view.
Lyle: Oh Christ, please don’t kill anyone.
Jimmy: Die, pigs!
SFX: BOOM!
Panel 4: The three of them are crashing through a neighbors backyard, desperate and exerting themselves with the exception of Jimmy, who’s keeping a decent pace in front of them.
Lyle: What are we going to do, Chuck? Where the fuck are we going to go?
Chuck: We’ll have a few minutes before those cops wake up and call for backup. We should be able to cloak our presence in a McDonalds.
Lyle:…You’re kidding.
Chuck: If there’s one modern institution that’s big on black magic, it’s Mickey D’s. We’ll be safe there.
Lyle: And now I have to eat at McDonalds. This day just gets-*pant*-worse and worse.
Chuck: More running, less smartass remarks. I’m not hauling your out-of-shape butt into a burger joint, especially not McDonalds.
Lyle: You-*gasp*-suck.
Page 4, Panel 1: From a three-quarters aerial view, the three are eating around a table. Lyle is picking at his fries, Chuck is having a salad and Doctor Jimmy is biting into a huge burger.
Box: 20 Minutes Later
Lyle: So…that was weird.
Chuck: Ha.
Doctor Jimmy: I’ve been through weirder.
Panel 2: Lyle is getting irritated with Doctor Jimmy, with Chuck doing her best to kind of tune out and eat her food.
Lyle: Yeah, I bet you have, but I haven’t. I don’t have a condo in the 9th Circle of Hell, alright? I’m not comfortable with this shit yet.
Jimmy: You’ll get used to it.
Lyle: No, I won’t, because I don’t want anything to do with-
Panel 3: Just kind of a close-up on Lyle’s face, introspective and looking as though he’s had an epiphany.
Lyle: Come to think of it, what have I got to lose?
Panel 4: Chuck has looked up from her salad at this, and is giving Lyle a cynical look. Doctor Jimmy is sucking down his large soda while they’re talking.
Chuck: Come again?
Lyle: Well…I dunno, what else am I going to do with my life? I’ve got no formal education, my girl is cheating on me, my only real skill is being snarky…I think I could get used to the magic stuff, if you gave me some time.
Chuck: You’re assuming that I’ll want to be around you all the time.
Lyle: You won’t have to. Just hang out with me long enough for me to adjust to the magical life style, and-
Chuck: Lyle, listen to me.
Panel 5: A close-up shot of Chuck. She’s pointing her fork at Lyle as a way of adding to the point she’s trying to make. The outside of the city is visible through the window behind her, cold and dark. She’s facing away from the reader at a three-quarters view.
Chuck: You’re a sweet kid. If you could shut your yap for more than twenty seconds at a time, you might even be a little bit attractive. But your problem is that you think that you’re deep and cool and mysterious, and you’re not. I can read you like a book, and so can everyone else. Even if you had the focus and personality for magic, which you don’t, that trait alone-your transparency-would keep you from being anything more than an okay magic user.
Panel 6: Lyle is looking at her desperately, leaning across the table with both hands. Doctor Jimmy is taking a nap. Chuck is looking both exasperated and a little bit sad, like trying to explain to a kid that his dog died.
Lyle: “ONLY” an okay magic user? Knowing any magic at all would be the best thing that ever happened to me! If you’d just tutor me for a couple of days-
Chuck: Okay, then how about this…
Panel 7: Another close-up shot of Chuck, looking a little bit sadder and more weary, and a smaller panel than before.
Chuck: I have no feelings for you, and I don’t want to be your girlfriend. We’re not going to go off and have adventures. We’re not going to meet pirates, ninjas, zombies or Chuck Norris because that’s just not how it works. The minute you turn your back on me, you’re never going to see me again.
Page 5, Panel 1: Lyle is looking at Chuck, from a frontal view, crushed and looking completely dejected. Doctor Jimmy is still taking a nap next to him. No words; it’s just now sinking in for Lyle what Chuck just said.
Panel 2: Lyle is getting up from the table and putting five dollars down on the table. Chuck looks a little bit guilty, smiling wryly, and Doctor Jimmy is rubbing his temples, looking like he’s waking up.
Lyle: Fine. Dinner is on me.
Chuck: It was a fun night, if nothing else.
Lyle: Whatever.
Panel 3: Small. Close-up of Chuck, looking melancholy, guiltier still.
Panel 4: Lyle is walking out the door, when he gets stopped suddenly, coming to a halt from a yank on the chain. Profile view, nobody but Lyle is visible in the shot.
SFX: YANK
Lyle: The hell? What’s wrong with-?
Panel 5: Lyle turns around to his side and sees that Doctor Jimmy is holding the chain in the hand that isn’t attached to the chain. He’s still sitting down, leaning over to drink his soda. Chuck is holding her head in her hands.
Doctor Jimmy: Not letting you out of here without the chick, kid.
Page 6, Panel 1: Lyle’s back at the table now, looking at Doctor Jimmy, irritated. Jimmy is putting his burger into his mouth, and Chuck looks kind of concerned for the both of them.
Lyle: I’m sorry, what?
Doctor Jimmy: You heard me. You two were made for each other. No way in hell am I going to let you two out of here unless it’s together, holding hands.
Lyle: “Holding hands”? Are you like 90 years old or something? Let’s get out of here, she obviously doesn’t care about what happens to you or me.
Chuck: It’s not that-
Doc Jim: I’m not above beating the shit out of you to get what I want, kiddo.
Panel 2: Lyle is rolling up his sleeves, ready to fight, but still looking kind of scared. Doctor Jimmy is looking at him like he’s psychotic, soda still in hand, and Chuck is more exasperated than ever.
Lyle: That a fact? Well, let me tell you something, asswipe-
Chuck: Christ on a bike-
Lyle: YOU came out of ME. YOU don’t get to tell ME to do SHIT. I’ll bet you anything I can take you down without thinking twice about it.
Doctor Jimmy: You really think that.
Lyle: I know it.
Doc Jim: Alright then.
Panel 3: Jimmy throws a punch at Lyle’s head. It contacts directly with Lyle’s face, but his knuckles break and he has a look of shocked pain from the impact, like he had just hit a brick wall instead of a person’s face. Lyle is smiling with a look of enormous self confidence. He doesn’t have a mark on him.
SFX: CRUUNNCHHH
Page 7, Panel 1: Lyle is standing over them, still smiling brashly. Chuck looks surprised, but not completely shocked, and Jimmy is nursing his hand, bleeding and broken.
Lyle: Toldja.
Jimmy: How in the fuck?!-
Chuck: Okay, so…I’m impressed, I’ll admit. I wouldn’t have guessed that it would work out like that.
Panel 2: Lyle is pleading his case to Chuck. He looks fairly assertive of his views but still seems like he’s nervous about what Chuck’s answer might be.
Lyle: Can I please, PLEASE get some lessons from you? You saw it, I have an instinct for this kind of thing. Please.
Panel 3: Lyle is looking down at Chuck now, with a much softer, pleading look on his face. Chuck is looking up at him, smiling ever so slightly.
Chuck: Alright, but…no dating. Okay?
Lyle: Deal. So, now that we’re all done with our food, where should we go?
Panel 4: A close-up of Chuck once again, looking grave.
Chuck: Well, I know a guy who’d let us stay for a couple of hours while the heat dies down, but he’s one dangerous son of a bitch. Brace yourself or you might not live through the night.
Page 8, Panel 1: From a view that’s behind Lyle and Chuck, so that they can see into the door. The guy is taller than Lyle, but not by much. We can’t see either of the protagonists faces.
Laramie: Chuck! It’s…nice, to see you again, I guess. Who’s this guy?
Lyle: This is the “dangerous son of a bitch” you were talking about?
Laramie: Hey, hey! Language! Little kids in the building!
Lyle: …Sorry. Can we come in?
Laramie: If you have to.
Panel 4: They’re all walking through the apartment, with both Lyle and Chuck looking like they’re going to burst out laughing at any point. The wee children are still running around and being rambunctious.
Chuck: So…uh…what’s with the kids, Laramie?
Laramie: My sisters are off in Arizona, and they wanted to dump their kids on me for…a week, I think. It’s been four days since the little buggers have moved in, so-Joseph, you are NOT Tarzan! Get OFF of the chandelier this instant!
Joseph(off panel)Awwwww…
Lyle: I’m going to start crying. I swear to God, this is too funny.
Panel 5: They’re all in the kitchen now. A small child is running from one end of the table to the other, whom Laramie has grabbed and is holding aloft. Lyle is taking a seat and Chuck is pawing through the refrigerator. A window at the end of the room is letting in some light.
Laramie: Wait ‘til you have kids of your own, you arrogant little sh…noz.
Kid: Whassa schnoz?!
Laramie: It means nose. Now go play with Devon.
Kid: Devon has coooootieeeesss!
Laramie: So do I. Now scoot.
Lyle: So, if you don’t mind my asking, Laramie, why did you think that Chuck wanted me to talk to you? Because so far you seem sort of…normal.
Laramie: Depends. Recount the last 12 hours or so to me.
Chuck: Okay, well…
Page 8, Panel 1: Chuck is munching on a chocolate bar, with Lyle and Laramie sitting and listening intently.
Box: 20 Minutes Later…
Laramie: Seems like a fairly standard magical escapade.
Chuck: Well, it sort of was, I guess, until we left McDonalds. Y’see…
Panel 2: Chuck, Lyle and Doctor Jimmy are all walking down the street. It’s about 4 in the morning at this point.
Box: About 5 hours ago
Lyle: So what’s so special about this guy we’re going to go see, anyways?
Chuck: Well, he’s-
Panel 3: Doctor Jimmy throws a punch at Lyle, who just barely dodges it.
SFX: WHOOOOOSHHH!
Lyle: Hey, what in the hell?!
Doctor Jimmy: Stand still, asshole!
Panel 4: Lyle flicks his arm backwards fiercely, sending Jimmy flying back into the top of Lyle’s arm. Imagine a tick burrowing under the skin and that’s the sort of image I want. Doctor Jimmy is being stretched weirdly to fit under Lyle’s skin. Lyle has an open-mouthed expression of shock on his face.
Doctor Jimmy: WHAAAAAAAAAA-!
Panel 5: Lyle and Chuck gape at each other. Small panel.
Page 9, Panel 1: We’re back at the kitchen. From slightly behind and to the side of Lyle’s head, we see him turned towards Laramie. Chuck is also looking at him quizzically, still chewing on her chocolate bar.
Chuck: So I guess what we both want to know is-
Lyle: How the fuck did I know how to do that?
Laramie: Whoa, wait, you said this happened at about 4 in the morning? Why did it take you until 9 to get here?
Lyle: You live across town and Chuck doesn’t have pockets for bus money.
Laramie: Huh. That is pretty weird( the fight part, not the bus money thing). Well…alright, you sent this kid to Hell, right Chuck?
Chuck: …Yeah.
Laramie: Well, I’d imagine that it’s a little bit like going to Nepal. You know what I mean?
Lyle and Chuck(shared balloon):…
Panel 2: Close-up on Laramie’s face. His head is positioned so that we can see out the window. Put something interesting out there, like maybe a woman doing her laundry or a bird or somesuch.
Laramie: Okay, well, somewhere like Nepal…it’s a place with a lot of steps, right? A lot of mountains to climb up and stuff, right.
Lyle(off panel): I’ve never been to Nepal.
Laramie: Well, it does. And when you go somewhere like Nepal, with all the steps and crap, it seems like a lot of steps to climb. And it is. But when you get back to the U.S, it seems like, in comparison to like, fuckin’ Mount Kilimanjaro-
Chuck(off panel): Kilimanjaro is in Africa.
Laramie: Look, just…the point I’m trying to make is that the world where we live, right now, has certain rules to it. And if you’re somewhere where those rules don’t apply-like, for instance, Hell-if you’re in a place like that for even a short period of time, it’s easier to forget standard rules that places like Earth has because, subconsciously, you still think you’re playing by Hell’s rules, where you could, say, if you had some kind of crazy magic chain, pull whatever is on the other end of that chain into your skin. And I think that’s sort of how magic works. It’s just forgetting the rules and having the means to break them.
Panel 3: Lyle is getting up from his seat. Chuck has closed her eyes and is down to the last little bit of her chocolate bar. Laramie’s head is resting on his fists, looking pensive.
Chuck: Huh. That’s interesting.
Lyle: Man, I’ve gotta go call my dad and tell him I’m not going to be back home for a while.
Laramie: There’s better reception in the hall.
Page 10, Panel 1: Lyle is outside, in the hall, with his back to the door. He’s looking somewhat irritated at the room behind him, with his cellphone taken out and dialing.
Lyle: Must’ve stepped on a Tonka depot worth of toy trucks back there…
Phone: We’re sorry, *Hank Morris*, could not be reached. Please leave a message at the beep.
Lyle: Great.
Panel 2: From behind Lyle’s head, we see him leaning over to try and take a peak around the hall, where he hears voices coming from. He has his cellphone against his ear.
Lyle: Hey dad, it’s Lyle. I’m sorry for not calling earlier; it’s impossible to find a bus home right now. I’ll call you back as soon as I-
Voice 1: I don’t know how these fucks think they can hide. Goddamn ARROGANCE, that’s the one thing these magical pussies have in common.
Voice 2: No shit, man. I remember there was this one dude, made a salamander grow to like, 8 feet. Sort of useless, but y’know, still illegal. So I tell him to get into the wagon, and he starts giving me shit about how he’s this big fuckin’…wizard, or something, and y’know what I do?
Voice 1: You bust his fuckin’ head open?
Voice 2: Shyeah! Damn straight I bust his fuckin’ head open. Which room are we going to, by the way? 302?
Voice 1: Sounds right.
Lyle-can…Jesus Christ…
Panel 3: Lyle whirls around and sees that the room he’s emerged from is room 302, utterly panicked.
Lyle: Oh, man.
Panel 4: Lyle has slammed the door open, from a front view. The little kids are, varying from child to child, horrified to delighted. Lyle is holding the side of the wall, running forward and trying not to trip on a toy fire truck that he’s stepping on.
Lyle: YOU GUYS! WE’VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!
Panel 5: Lyle has thrown open the kitchen door, to see a whirling black hole where the kitchen table had been. Chuck looks like she was just about to jump in before Lyle came in. I think this shot should be from inside the kitchen, from the ground next to Chuck. Lyle looks a mixed of panicked and maybe somewhat embarrassed.
Chuck: Yeah, no shit. We knew a couple of minutes before you did, probably.
Lyle: …Why’s there a black hole where the kitchen table used to be?
Chuck: I think it would be better for everyone if you just stopped asking questions about this stuff.
Lyle: Gotcha.
Panel 6: From the other side of the hole, Lyle is stepping in with his body leaned forward and Chuck coming in head first, but not in a tripping, awkward sort of way. Lyle looks stunned, and Chuck just looks like she’s trying to get through the hole. A warm light is apparent in their surroundings.
Lyle: So do we not screw with Laramie because he works for this place?
Chuck: No, we don’t screw with Laramie because he OWNS this place.
Pages 11 and 12: Picture a mix of Gringotts bank from Harry Potter and the Temple of Zeus in Athens with creatures from a Bosch painting roaming around and you’ll get the general idea for what I want from this spread. Make columns, and maybe some weird-ass glass paintings of various monstrosities over the teller booths/cubicles/whatever. This place is definitely a bank, or similar place of business, but it has a sense of splendor and mystery that only weird, crazy monsters can give it. Lyle and Chuck are barely visible, looking on from the top of a long, winding staircase off to the side of the picture.
Lyle(in a very, very tiny word balloon):…Gosh.
Page 13: I’d like this page to be divided into six panels that show the two of them walking down the winding staircase. It should all be one picture, framed into six smaller pictures. I’d like it to be in a fixed view for the majority of the time, from profile and switching directions on the winding staircase, except in the case of the first panel, which is more at three quarters view and directly facing the viewer.
Panel 1: They’re at the top of the stairs. In this panel, they should be starting to walk down, with a toad-like abomination of sorts raising a single hand in a holy manner to lead them down the stairs. Lyle is looking at it with awe, while Chuck seems to accept this as business as usual.
Frog: Welcome back to Town Hall, Chuk-Yi Kwan, and to your friend…I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting. You are…?
Lyle: Christ. It’s like something from an Iron Maiden song, except without Bruce Dickinson howling at you.
Chuck: First of all, Iron Maiden rules, and more importantly, now he thinks that’s your name.
Frog: Welcome to Town Hall, Christit’slikesomethingfromanIronMaidensongexceptwithoutBruceDickinsonhowlingatyou. My! That’s a long title, for one so young.
Lyle: Jesus.
Frog: Jesus for short? Indeed. Welcome to Town Hall, Jesus.
Lyle: Shit!
Frog: Do you wish to be addressed as Jesus or Shit, young sir?
Chuck: Just call him Shit, Frog. C’mon, we’ve gotta get going.
Frog: Indeed. Peace be with you, Shit!
Panel 2: They’ve begun their descent down the stairs. A man-sized bat carrying a file in one hand and drinking from a coffee mug in the other flies to their side, so that he’s seen but not on the same level our protagonists are. On the floor, an ogre mops up the floors, making it slippery enough for a creature carrying a stack of papers to slip, and looks as though he’s about to skid into the ogre. They’re still high up, so there should be some glass paintings of various abominations(use your imagination).
Lyle: So, I’m wondering how I’m safer down here in The Rabbit Hole from Hell than I would be above ground.
Chuck: You know what I’m wondering? I’m wondering how you’re taking all this with such stride. The first time I came to Town Hall I just about started sobbing right where I stood.
Lyle: I don’t know. This all feels normal to me, somehow.
Panel 3: They’re still walking down the same direction. In this panel, lower than the staircase we have something that looks distinctly like a blue, four armed phallus carrying a mystical-looking rocket launcher on his back and loping through the halls. A gorilla dressed as a Franciscan monk waves to the weird penis-creature. Lyle and Chuck have both turned their heads away from the reader to look over the side of the staircase at this thing.
Chuck: Really. A blue dick with a rocket launcher just…loping down the halls is normal to you.
Lyle: Well, no, I mean…obviously I have my limits. It’s mostly the ambience of this place I’m talking about, y’know? Not like I’ve been her before, but like I’ve seen it in a brochure or something.
Gorilla Monk: Mornin’, Brother Jebediah.
Phallus: Back at you, Father.
Panel 4: The stairs wind and change direction. Chuck is in front of Lyle and looking back at him. A small wooden boat is rowing itself through the sky in front of our protagonists. Behind them, a glass painting of another Franciscan gorilla holding the cross and under the picture reads “Our Father” in latin(I’ll find out the translation later). There’s a legged old-style rotary telephone receiver tromping down the rail, forcing Chuck to lift up her hand in order for him to pass.
Lyle: Alright, so really, where are we? I feel like I’m sauntering through the crevices of Jim Morrison’s brain.
Chuck: You’re not far off, actually. Where we are is…pretty much, it’s where everywhere that doesn’t make sense gets banished to. Like-oh, Dale! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.
Phone(Dale): Not a problem, Chuck. You have a nice day, now.
Chuck: Sweet little appliance, that guy. Anyways, no, this is essentially a small city that exists somewhere between here and there that our friend Laramie made as a sanctuary for all of the world’s crazy shit to just come and, I dunno, be safe, I guess.
Lyle: So I’m where Jim Morrison would have pitched his crappy ideas.
Chuck: That’s kind of harsh, but yeah, I guess.
Panel 5: They make way for a group child-sized mice in camo-gear and army-issue weaponry rushing up the stairs, pressing themselves up against the side of the stairway. Something between a mix of a rubber-chicken and a ferret fly’s overhead, dropping an old, black clock down into Chuck’s open hands. A mouse in the middle of the group has turned his head up to talk to Chuck.
Lyle: Holy-!
Chuck: Hey, whoa, guys. Where you headed to?
Mouse: ‘Mergency, ma’am. ‘Parantely there are young children Up Top that are being threatened by the Counter-Mage Institute. We’re heading up to insure the young ones are safe.
Mouse at the head: GET A MOVE ON, ROOKIE!
Mouse earlier: SIR, YES SIR!!
Lyle: Counter-Mage Institute? Is that who you were talking about earlier? The same guys who were going to nail us for summoning Jimmy?
Chuck: The very same. I’m guessing that I know who the kids are, also.
Lyle: Oh, shit. You don’t think it’s Laramie’s brood, is it?
Chuck: Probably. (Nice drop-off, Dwayne).
Lyle: What’s that for?
Chuck: Personal stuff. We’d better get down to the bottom.
Panel 6: Laramie is waiting on the bottom floor, sitting on a disgruntled-looking chair. He himself doesn’t seem terribly worried. Lyle and Chuck rush down the stairs to see him sitting there.
Chuck: Laramie!
Laramie: Yeah, I heard. Frankly I’m not too concerned.
Lyle: …Why?
Laramie: Because the CMI is full of shit, that’s why.
(Note: The crazy nonsense I listed are only things I’d sorta like to see. Feel free to make tweaks and add in whatever crazy shit you feel is appropriate for the scene.)
Page 14, Panel 1: Lyle and Chuck are walking behind Laramie, facing towards the reader. Laramie walks down the hall with a sort of bravado, while Lyle has a look of cock-eyed cynicism on his face.
Lyle: Yeah, it must be comforting to think that your kids aren’t in trouble, but I overheard them in the hall, and they’re looking to bust some heads.
Laramie: No they aren’t. They’re looking to get themselves into a situation where they can create an anecdote about busting heads and tell it to their friends.
Lyle: Whuh?
Chuck: Essentially, they’re mall cops. They never see any real action-and if they did they wouldn’t be prepared for it-but they like to think that they do and talk to their friends about how hard they are. They’re like those stupid rich kids at school who wear baggy pants and a chain and think they’re the most ghetto motherfuckers who ever walked the earth.
Lyle: Got it. But…so why are we running from them to begin with?
Panel 2: From a profile view, Laramie unlocks a door to a room that reads SECURITY. A massive walkingstick passes between Lyle and Chuck.
Laramie: Because, like mall cops, they can still get you in trouble with the law, even if they themselves can’t do much of anything. The thing is-
Walkingstick: Did you hear about the CMI, sir?! They’re up in your apartment!
Laramie: I heard. Carry on; I’ve got this under control.
Panel 3: Laramie opens the door for the two protagonists, holding it open for them to walk through. We can see inside that there are a few computer screens and a weird rune shape on the ground. Lyle and Chuck’s backs are to the reader.
Laramie: Anyhow, the thing with the CMI is that not a lot of people know how useless they are. They’re figureheads, essentially. They’re taught to act tough but not to be tough. Step in here, I think you can learn something from what you’re about to see.
Panel 4: A very tiny panel: Laramie’s hand clicks a remote control. All we see is the hand hitting the button.
Panel 5: The walls and the rest of the room peel away to reveal that the entire room is essentially a cylindrical mass of moss. There is one opening in the wall with a screen. The three are standing on the rune shape, the only visible solid surface to stand on. Chuck and Lyle both look amazed.
Lyle: You know, I guess compared with everything else I’ve seen today this shouldn’t be that weird, but holy crap, everything’s made of moss!
Chuck: Yeah, what gives? I always thought that this room was one place in the entire Town Hall that could be described as state-of-the-art.
Laramie: Well, budget cuts, laziness and bored swamp creatures all sort of combined to make a security center that wasn’t exactly what we would call…functioning, at the time. It’s been fixed since then, but I had a spell that makes everything look all chrome-y used on this room when it’s not in use.
Chuck: Because everything’s made of moss.
Laramie: Yeah.
Page 15, Panel 1: We’re looking up at the screen with Laramie, Lyle and Chuck. The scowling face of one of the CMI Agents is filling up the screen.
Agent: We know you’re housing users, Laramie! Let us have them and your kids won’t get hur-what the fuck’s up with the moss?
Laramie: Why can’t anyone get over the Goddamn moss?
Lyle: Well, it’s silly. Who has a security room made of moss?
Agent: Holy Christ, this is your SECURITY room? What the fuck is your lobby made out of, bark?
Laramie: Look, it’s not…I’m not handing them over to you.
Panel 2: From a three-quarters view, we can see that one of them behind the Agent who was just talking is holding up a child with a knife to his throat. Chuck has her hands over her mouth, and Lyle is doing his best to look threatening. Laramie is as impassive as ever.
Agent: I don’t have to tell you the House of Morrow’s policy on magic. We’re authorized to use any means necessary to get you to hand them over. We WILL murder this child if you don’t hand them over within the next five minutes.
Kid: UNCLE LARYMIE!
Lyle: Laramie, we can turn ourselves in. It’s not worth one of these kids getting killed over.
Laramie: First of all, the House of Morrow can suck my nuts. I have immunity. And secondly, no, you’re not going to kill these kids.
Agent: What’s to stop me from gutting the little prick right now?
Laramie: Because you’re a poser, and a pussy. You’re a posing pussy. You don’t have it in you. And now just because you frightened me a little with the idea, I’m going to have to make an example of you.
Panel 3: From profile view. Laramie’s arms grow enormous, as big as his body. Lyle looks over at Laramie, stunned and frightened.
SFX: SHUNG!
Lyle: Agh! What the fuck-
Panel 4: From a front view, Laramie is holding Lyle up and about to throw him like a shot-put player. Lyle is immensely panicked.
Lyle: Holy shit holy shit holy shit-
Panel 5: From a side view, and from far away, Lyle is sent soaring through the air, towards the screen.
Lyle: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Panel 6: Lyle smashes through the TV in Laramie’s apartment, much to the amazement of the Agents and the children. Doctor Jimmy has been knocked separately from Lyle in the impact, leaning up against the leg of a chair situated somewhere behind the television. Lyle is unconscious, lying at the foot of a reclining chair. Jimmy is shaking the glass and various debris out of his clothes.
SFX: SKRAAASSSHHH
Doctor Jimmy: Okay…
Page 16: A one-page splash. Doctor Jimmy is enraged, standing up, with his shotgun clenched between his hands. We should be able to feel the fury streaming out of Jimmy in this shot.
Doctor Jimmy: WHICH OF YOU FUCKS IS GONNA BE THE FIRST TO DIE?!
Page 17, Panel 1: An Agent runs at Doctor Jimmy with a knife. Profile view.
Agent: Yaaaaaaa-
Panel 2: Jimmy smashes the agent’s face with his shotgun before he can reach him. Blood erupts from the agent’s face, and the blade goes flying elsewhere.
Agent-AAAGHHH!
Panel 3: Jimmy delivers a roundhouse kick to an agent in front of him, while shooting one behind him in the stomach with his gun.
SFX(for the kick): SLAM!
SFX(for the blast): BOOM!
Panel 4: Jimmy swings from a cheap chandelier hanging over the living room, smashing another two agents in the face with his boots.
SFX: CRUUUUUNCH
Panel 5: One last agent, the one beaten with the knife from before, tries to sneak up behind him and gets another shotgun barrel to the face.
Panel 6: There’s another agent, standing at the door, with his knees shaking and a gun drawn, but he’s obviously in no emotional state to fire it. Jimmy looks at him and points. The shot should be from over Doctor Jimmy’s shoulder.
Doctor Jimmy: You tell those shitheads back at the House what you saw here today, and you tell them that Doctor Jimmy will fuck them up if they so much as think about trying to bust my balls again. You got that?
Agent: Yes.
Doctor Jimmy: YOU GOT THAT?!
Agent: Y-YES!
Panel 7: From a frontal view, so that we see Jimmy’s face while he’s doing this, Jimmy blasts out the Agent’s kneecaps with his shotgun.
Jimmy: Damn straight you got that.
Page 18, Panel 1: It’s a somber change from the last page. We have Lyle still on the floor but rousting himself, Laramie leaning up against the T.V and Chuck just stepping out of the screen. Jimmy stands in front of the man who’s legs he just shot out, looking down at him, while we can see the various scattered unconscious, beat up and in one case, blown apart bodies littering the apartment.
Man Whose Knees Were Shot: Aaaahhh…aaah…
Panel 2: Lyle is at the foreground of the picture, waking up totally and holding his head. Laramie and Chuck are in the background, with Chuck just recently getting herself fully through the other side of the T.V screen.
Lyle: Christ Almighty, I feel like I was hit by the cross-town bus.
Laramie: Well, I guarantee you’re in better shape than these poor sons of bitches. Most inner demons aren’t so effective at beatdowns.
Chuck: Yeah, you should really think about what that might signify.
Lyle: Ha…
Panel 3: All the little kids are huddled in the hall that leads to the bathroom and bedroom. They’re mixes of mortified and jaw-hanging-open stunned. This should be from over Lyle’s shoulder, but in a way so that we can still see the side of his face.
Lyle: …Oh man, you guys. The kids.
Panel 4: Chuck has raced over to be with the small children, down on her knees with them. Lyle looks around the room uncomfortably, while Doctor Jimmy leans up against the wall and smokes a cigarette. Laramie surveys the damage with sorrow.
Lyle: This is really…this is messed up, Chuck.
Laramie: They were threatening to cut up children, Lyle. What else could I have done?
Lyle: I don’t know, but I don’t think we had to call out Jimmy. We could have done this some other way.
Doctor Jimmy: Fuck you, man.
Panel 5: Lyle is approaching Doctor Jimmy in a menacing manner. Chuck is shuffling the kids out of the room. Laramie is leaning back with his hand on his face in exasperation.
Lyle: The FUCK did you just say to me?
Doctor Jimmy: Fuck. You. You count yourself lucky I didn’t smack up the little bastards while I was at it.
Chuck: Hey…kids, let’s go out in the hall, huh?
Page 19, Panel 1: Lyle and Doctor Jimmy are facing each other, with Laramie pushing the two of them away from each other.
Lyle: If you even raise a hand to one of those kids, part of me or not I swear to God you’re gonna find yourself face down in the gutter.
Jimmy: Try it, asshole.
Laramie: Okay, guys. Stop your fighting. There is a simple way to solve our differences.
Panel 2: Laramie yanks on the chain and sends Jimmy flying up through Lyle’s arm.
Laramie: In ya go!
SFX: SCHLOOORRRRPPP
Panel 3: Laramie has turned to face Lyle now. We can only see the back of Laramie’s head, from a three quarters view we see Lyle, looking like he’s trying to comprehend what Laramie’s saying, maybe with an eyebrow thing.
Laramie: Not so much fucking fun, is it?
Lyle: What do you mean?
Panel 4: A shot of just Laramie. We’re looking up at him from the ground, with an intensity we haven’t seen with this character yet.
Laramie: The magical life. Do you get that it’s not just buckets of fun? It’s just as hard for a magic user as an average person to get through the day, harder so if you’re in defiance of something. Because you know what? I have a story worked out to make this look like a home invasion, but it’s not going to work unless more of these guys have bullets in them. So do you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to shoot these guys in as many places, and as many times as I need to, until my story sounds logical.
Panel 5: We’re just close-up on Laramie’s face now. Lyle is reflected with a sort of fright in his glasses. We’re looking over the top of Laramie’s glasses, looking into his raging, passionate eyes.
Laramie: THIS is what we spend most of our time doing, Lyle. For every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction. Every time you use magic-however benign-you take out a piece of the jigsaw puzzle, and you have to carve a new one to make the picture whole again. Do you get what I’m saying?
Panel 6: Lyle looks like a defeated dog. Laramie is pointing a gun dripping with blood at the ground, at an unseen target.
Lyle: No…
Laramie: Well, actions speak louder than words, I suppose.
Page 20, Panel 1: Laramie blasts a couple of the thugs.
SFX: BOOM BOOM
Panel 2: Another set of thugs get shot in the arm, the leg and the gut. The wood splinters and some blood pops out of them.
SFX: BOOM BOOM BANG
Thug: AGH!
Thug 2: Urrrr…oh God…
Panel 3: Laramie turns to Lyle, but from a perspective as though he’s looking directly at the reader. This should be by far the largest panel, taking up a good 60% of the page.
Laramie: You still want to be a part of this world, Lyle?
Panel 4: A small panel. Lyle is looking down at the floor next to him, almost in a hangdog sort of way.
Panel 5: Lyle is standing the same way, except now he’s facing the reader, also.
Lyle: What choice do I have?
Page 21, Panel 1: Laramie is clapping Lyle on the back, using the hand he hasn’t been holding the gun in. Lyle looks ragged, but he’s smiling weakly.
Laramie: Good answer, boyo. Now let’s make this look like a normal crime scene, huh?
Panel 2: Laramie is on his cell-phone, with just his head for this shot.
Laramie: Father Silver? Yeah, it’s the Mayor. I’m going to need a finger-print remover of some kind and several thousand somethings that look like American currency. Can I have that up here in five minutes?…Fantastic.
Panel 3: There are police all across the room, examining the crime scene. Lyle is sitting down with a cup of water, watching Laramie give his explanation for what happened.
Box: 20 minutes later.
Laramie:…So I guess these guys must have heard from somewhere that I have, you know, a LOT of money in this apartment, and from what I can tell there must’ve been some kind of fight over who would get what cut of the cash. I was out at the time, but my kids…they saw the whole thing, poor little guys.
Narrative Box: I can’t believe he’s going to get away with this.
Panel 4: The police are leaning over a group of children who are trying to act out what they were told to the police.
Kid 1: And then the one guy said, “I wants my money!” And then he took out a gun and shot the other guy.
Kid 2: Nuh-uh, the other guy shot first!
N.B: Of course, Laramie managed to make a story for each of these guys to tell. I don’t know whether to be repulsed or impressed, but this guy’s obviously an expert on covering his ass. (I still don’t know what happened to that little group of mice, though)
Panel 5: Laramie glances over at Lyle. An ominous shot.
Lyle: I’ll have to keep my eyes open.
Page 22, Panel 1: Lyle, from a three quarters view, from the ground on the area his dad is standing, is in a heated, almost violent looking verbal exchange with his dad. The house looks as crappy as ever.
Lyle(Narrative Box): So after Laramie offered up his story, the cops sent me home, and my dad…I don’t really wanna talk about it, actually.
Panel 2: Lyle is in his room, reading Crime and Punishment with some large headphones over his ears. It’s a rare moment of serenity for Lyle.
Lyle: My room is still my favorite place.
Panel 3: Lyle is trudging through the halls of his school, carrying a back-pack that’s too big and with a look of bitterness about him.
Lyle: I decided that I should start going back to school. As it turns out I’m an okay student, but I’m still wondering if it was worth it.
Panel 4: Lyle is sitting with one leg arched up on the bus-stop. He has his chin cupped in his hand, looking pensively off into the distance.
Lyle: I haven’t heard from Chuck or Laramie in almost five weeks. Life is boring.
Page 23, Panel 1: From down the street, Chuck comes rushing towards Lyle. Lyle looks far more pleased than he probably should.
Chuck: Lyle!
Lyle: Chuck! Hey!
Panel 2: They hug. Profile view. Lyle looks a little bit red in the face, not from embarrassment, but from happiness(if that’s unclear, talk to me).
Chuck: Mmmm! How have you been?
Lyle: Erm...Not great. I forgot how dull school can make a guy. Heh.
Panel 3: Chuck is grabbing Lyle’s hand and pulling him away to the side of a nearby building. Lyle looks confused, but not displeased. Chuck is grinning brightly.
Chuck: Ha! I hear that. Hey, c’mere I have something to show you.
Lyle: Uh…okay.
Panel 4: From profile view. Chuck is holding her hands out cupped so that we can’t see what’s in them. A black light radiates from her hands and straight up into the sky. Lyle stares up at the light in amazement, while Chuck just smiles at him.
Chuck: Hey, Lyle…
Page 24: A one page splash. We see a picture of Chuck smiling, holding in her hands a brightly glowing black rose. There’s a bizarre looking ivy growing out of the side of her coat and draping across her sleeves. Other plants that look to be alive are coming out of her pockets, including one that looks like an anaconda made out of moss opening its gaping jaws at the reader.
Chuck: Have I ever told you about my garden?
Bottom Right Corner: NEXT: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK ROSE!
Art in the very next post, so you can see all of it at once!
Into The Mystic Issue #2
Chris Jones
Page 1: A gigantic one page spread. Jimmy is butting a policeman who has come into the house with the end of his shotgun. This should be from a frontal perspective, with the cop’s back to us and we’re looking at Jimmy. Lyle and Chuck are in the back, hiding behind a table, barely visible and still connected by a chain. The smash to the cop’s face should be tangible; a little bit of blood, but not too much.
SFX: CRUUUUNCH
Narrative Box(top right): Throughout my life, I’ve always done my best to avoid saying, “This can’t possibly get any worse”, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from television, movies and comic books, it’s that, along with “What’s the worst that could happen?”, there is no greater signifier that the speaker is both a jinx AND dumb as shit, not to mention that it can always, always, ALWAYS get worse …
Narrative Box: (bottom left):…but I’m going to swing for the fences and say that this can’t possibly get any worse.
At Bottom: HOUSE PARTY-PART 2
Page 2, Panel 1: Partygoers are running for the back of the house, screaming; some are ducking for cover, some are just frozen in fear. This should surround Lyle and Chuck, who are still hiding under the table. Jimmy has smashed a cop into what remains of the television.
Lyle: I hate you.
Chuck: Don’t hate me, hate whoever fucked you up so bad when you were a kid.
Lyle: Excuse me?
Panel 2: From a frontal view, we see Chuck turning to look at Lyle from his perspective, so we just see the front of Chuck’s face and whatever’s going on behind her. Right behind her we see a police officer being kicked in the chest by Jimmy. Bullets are whizzing by him at this point.
Chuck: Lyle, almost everyone has something like Doctor Jimmy living inside of them, but you usually have to dig really, really deep to find it. Sometimes it takes days. I spent maybe three minutes digging around your soul and then…this guy just ambushed me. He got out of you before I even had a chance to-
Panel 3: A cop has been sent flying into the table, from the side opposite Lyle and Chuck. The table isn’t quite broken, but there’s a big, obvious crack caused by the cop’s landing. Lyle is grabbing Chuck by the wrist and overtly yelling to be heard.
Lyle: Hold that thought, huh?
Panel 4: The two of them are in mid-dive towards the kitchen counter. Lyle is kind of swinging around to the other side of the counter, and Chuck is being dragged along, trying to keep up. In the background, Jimmy is holding two policemen aloft by their necks, while being shot in the chest at the same time by a cop behind him.
Panel 5: Lyle and Chuck are leaning up against the counter, silhouetted, in profile. Off to the left of them we can see Jimmy headbutting an officer. There should be a slight liquid spray, in silhouette, coming from the cop. The chain between Jimmy and Lyle is also made a little bit more obvious in this shot than in others.
Lyle: *whew*…So what’s your point?
Chuck: My point is that things like Doctor Jimmy are usually buried so deep in a person’s soul that they can’t even crawl to the front of the heart, much less take physical form and attack somebody. For Jimmy to be able to beat the shit out of a squad of police-
Panel 6: Close-up on Lyle, looking kind of flustered and maybe a little sad, with the side of Chuck’s face visible ever so slightly.
Lyle: There must be something really, really wrong with me.
Chuck: Yeah, pretty much.
Page 3, Panel 1: Doctor Jimmy is leaning over the counter, leering at the two of them. He’s startled them with his appearance. He’s wearing a bloodied cop badge in his hat.
Doc Jimmy: Time to go, children.
Lyle: -Gah!
Chuck: Alright, yeah. Let’s get out of here.
Panel 2: Jimmy smashes down the back door with his foot. Wood splinters about.
Panel 3: Lyle and Chuck are dashing out the door while Jimmy holds it open for them. He’s firing his shotgun out at the police. The shot should be in three-quarters view.
Lyle: Oh Christ, please don’t kill anyone.
Jimmy: Die, pigs!
SFX: BOOM!
Panel 4: The three of them are crashing through a neighbors backyard, desperate and exerting themselves with the exception of Jimmy, who’s keeping a decent pace in front of them.
Lyle: What are we going to do, Chuck? Where the fuck are we going to go?
Chuck: We’ll have a few minutes before those cops wake up and call for backup. We should be able to cloak our presence in a McDonalds.
Lyle:…You’re kidding.
Chuck: If there’s one modern institution that’s big on black magic, it’s Mickey D’s. We’ll be safe there.
Lyle: And now I have to eat at McDonalds. This day just gets-*pant*-worse and worse.
Chuck: More running, less smartass remarks. I’m not hauling your out-of-shape butt into a burger joint, especially not McDonalds.
Lyle: You-*gasp*-suck.
Page 4, Panel 1: From a three-quarters aerial view, the three are eating around a table. Lyle is picking at his fries, Chuck is having a salad and Doctor Jimmy is biting into a huge burger.
Box: 20 Minutes Later
Lyle: So…that was weird.
Chuck: Ha.
Doctor Jimmy: I’ve been through weirder.
Panel 2: Lyle is getting irritated with Doctor Jimmy, with Chuck doing her best to kind of tune out and eat her food.
Lyle: Yeah, I bet you have, but I haven’t. I don’t have a condo in the 9th Circle of Hell, alright? I’m not comfortable with this shit yet.
Jimmy: You’ll get used to it.
Lyle: No, I won’t, because I don’t want anything to do with-
Panel 3: Just kind of a close-up on Lyle’s face, introspective and looking as though he’s had an epiphany.
Lyle: Come to think of it, what have I got to lose?
Panel 4: Chuck has looked up from her salad at this, and is giving Lyle a cynical look. Doctor Jimmy is sucking down his large soda while they’re talking.
Chuck: Come again?
Lyle: Well…I dunno, what else am I going to do with my life? I’ve got no formal education, my girl is cheating on me, my only real skill is being snarky…I think I could get used to the magic stuff, if you gave me some time.
Chuck: You’re assuming that I’ll want to be around you all the time.
Lyle: You won’t have to. Just hang out with me long enough for me to adjust to the magical life style, and-
Chuck: Lyle, listen to me.
Panel 5: A close-up shot of Chuck. She’s pointing her fork at Lyle as a way of adding to the point she’s trying to make. The outside of the city is visible through the window behind her, cold and dark. She’s facing away from the reader at a three-quarters view.
Chuck: You’re a sweet kid. If you could shut your yap for more than twenty seconds at a time, you might even be a little bit attractive. But your problem is that you think that you’re deep and cool and mysterious, and you’re not. I can read you like a book, and so can everyone else. Even if you had the focus and personality for magic, which you don’t, that trait alone-your transparency-would keep you from being anything more than an okay magic user.
Panel 6: Lyle is looking at her desperately, leaning across the table with both hands. Doctor Jimmy is taking a nap. Chuck is looking both exasperated and a little bit sad, like trying to explain to a kid that his dog died.
Lyle: “ONLY” an okay magic user? Knowing any magic at all would be the best thing that ever happened to me! If you’d just tutor me for a couple of days-
Chuck: Okay, then how about this…
Panel 7: Another close-up shot of Chuck, looking a little bit sadder and more weary, and a smaller panel than before.
Chuck: I have no feelings for you, and I don’t want to be your girlfriend. We’re not going to go off and have adventures. We’re not going to meet pirates, ninjas, zombies or Chuck Norris because that’s just not how it works. The minute you turn your back on me, you’re never going to see me again.
Page 5, Panel 1: Lyle is looking at Chuck, from a frontal view, crushed and looking completely dejected. Doctor Jimmy is still taking a nap next to him. No words; it’s just now sinking in for Lyle what Chuck just said.
Panel 2: Lyle is getting up from the table and putting five dollars down on the table. Chuck looks a little bit guilty, smiling wryly, and Doctor Jimmy is rubbing his temples, looking like he’s waking up.
Lyle: Fine. Dinner is on me.
Chuck: It was a fun night, if nothing else.
Lyle: Whatever.
Panel 3: Small. Close-up of Chuck, looking melancholy, guiltier still.
Panel 4: Lyle is walking out the door, when he gets stopped suddenly, coming to a halt from a yank on the chain. Profile view, nobody but Lyle is visible in the shot.
SFX: YANK
Lyle: The hell? What’s wrong with-?
Panel 5: Lyle turns around to his side and sees that Doctor Jimmy is holding the chain in the hand that isn’t attached to the chain. He’s still sitting down, leaning over to drink his soda. Chuck is holding her head in her hands.
Doctor Jimmy: Not letting you out of here without the chick, kid.
Page 6, Panel 1: Lyle’s back at the table now, looking at Doctor Jimmy, irritated. Jimmy is putting his burger into his mouth, and Chuck looks kind of concerned for the both of them.
Lyle: I’m sorry, what?
Doctor Jimmy: You heard me. You two were made for each other. No way in hell am I going to let you two out of here unless it’s together, holding hands.
Lyle: “Holding hands”? Are you like 90 years old or something? Let’s get out of here, she obviously doesn’t care about what happens to you or me.
Chuck: It’s not that-
Doc Jim: I’m not above beating the shit out of you to get what I want, kiddo.
Panel 2: Lyle is rolling up his sleeves, ready to fight, but still looking kind of scared. Doctor Jimmy is looking at him like he’s psychotic, soda still in hand, and Chuck is more exasperated than ever.
Lyle: That a fact? Well, let me tell you something, asswipe-
Chuck: Christ on a bike-
Lyle: YOU came out of ME. YOU don’t get to tell ME to do SHIT. I’ll bet you anything I can take you down without thinking twice about it.
Doctor Jimmy: You really think that.
Lyle: I know it.
Doc Jim: Alright then.
Panel 3: Jimmy throws a punch at Lyle’s head. It contacts directly with Lyle’s face, but his knuckles break and he has a look of shocked pain from the impact, like he had just hit a brick wall instead of a person’s face. Lyle is smiling with a look of enormous self confidence. He doesn’t have a mark on him.
SFX: CRUUNNCHHH
Page 7, Panel 1: Lyle is standing over them, still smiling brashly. Chuck looks surprised, but not completely shocked, and Jimmy is nursing his hand, bleeding and broken.
Lyle: Toldja.
Jimmy: How in the fuck?!-
Chuck: Okay, so…I’m impressed, I’ll admit. I wouldn’t have guessed that it would work out like that.
Panel 2: Lyle is pleading his case to Chuck. He looks fairly assertive of his views but still seems like he’s nervous about what Chuck’s answer might be.
Lyle: Can I please, PLEASE get some lessons from you? You saw it, I have an instinct for this kind of thing. Please.
Panel 3: Lyle is looking down at Chuck now, with a much softer, pleading look on his face. Chuck is looking up at him, smiling ever so slightly.
Chuck: Alright, but…no dating. Okay?
Lyle: Deal. So, now that we’re all done with our food, where should we go?
Panel 4: A close-up of Chuck once again, looking grave.
Chuck: Well, I know a guy who’d let us stay for a couple of hours while the heat dies down, but he’s one dangerous son of a bitch. Brace yourself or you might not live through the night.
Page 8, Panel 1: From a view that’s behind Lyle and Chuck, so that they can see into the door. The guy is taller than Lyle, but not by much. We can’t see either of the protagonists faces.
Laramie: Chuck! It’s…nice, to see you again, I guess. Who’s this guy?
Lyle: This is the “dangerous son of a bitch” you were talking about?
Laramie: Hey, hey! Language! Little kids in the building!
Lyle: …Sorry. Can we come in?
Laramie: If you have to.
Panel 4: They’re all walking through the apartment, with both Lyle and Chuck looking like they’re going to burst out laughing at any point. The wee children are still running around and being rambunctious.
Chuck: So…uh…what’s with the kids, Laramie?
Laramie: My sisters are off in Arizona, and they wanted to dump their kids on me for…a week, I think. It’s been four days since the little buggers have moved in, so-Joseph, you are NOT Tarzan! Get OFF of the chandelier this instant!
Joseph(off panel)Awwwww…
Lyle: I’m going to start crying. I swear to God, this is too funny.
Panel 5: They’re all in the kitchen now. A small child is running from one end of the table to the other, whom Laramie has grabbed and is holding aloft. Lyle is taking a seat and Chuck is pawing through the refrigerator. A window at the end of the room is letting in some light.
Laramie: Wait ‘til you have kids of your own, you arrogant little sh…noz.
Kid: Whassa schnoz?!
Laramie: It means nose. Now go play with Devon.
Kid: Devon has coooootieeeesss!
Laramie: So do I. Now scoot.
Lyle: So, if you don’t mind my asking, Laramie, why did you think that Chuck wanted me to talk to you? Because so far you seem sort of…normal.
Laramie: Depends. Recount the last 12 hours or so to me.
Chuck: Okay, well…
Page 8, Panel 1: Chuck is munching on a chocolate bar, with Lyle and Laramie sitting and listening intently.
Box: 20 Minutes Later…
Laramie: Seems like a fairly standard magical escapade.
Chuck: Well, it sort of was, I guess, until we left McDonalds. Y’see…
Panel 2: Chuck, Lyle and Doctor Jimmy are all walking down the street. It’s about 4 in the morning at this point.
Box: About 5 hours ago
Lyle: So what’s so special about this guy we’re going to go see, anyways?
Chuck: Well, he’s-
Panel 3: Doctor Jimmy throws a punch at Lyle, who just barely dodges it.
SFX: WHOOOOOSHHH!
Lyle: Hey, what in the hell?!
Doctor Jimmy: Stand still, asshole!
Panel 4: Lyle flicks his arm backwards fiercely, sending Jimmy flying back into the top of Lyle’s arm. Imagine a tick burrowing under the skin and that’s the sort of image I want. Doctor Jimmy is being stretched weirdly to fit under Lyle’s skin. Lyle has an open-mouthed expression of shock on his face.
Doctor Jimmy: WHAAAAAAAAAA-!
Panel 5: Lyle and Chuck gape at each other. Small panel.
Page 9, Panel 1: We’re back at the kitchen. From slightly behind and to the side of Lyle’s head, we see him turned towards Laramie. Chuck is also looking at him quizzically, still chewing on her chocolate bar.
Chuck: So I guess what we both want to know is-
Lyle: How the fuck did I know how to do that?
Laramie: Whoa, wait, you said this happened at about 4 in the morning? Why did it take you until 9 to get here?
Lyle: You live across town and Chuck doesn’t have pockets for bus money.
Laramie: Huh. That is pretty weird( the fight part, not the bus money thing). Well…alright, you sent this kid to Hell, right Chuck?
Chuck: …Yeah.
Laramie: Well, I’d imagine that it’s a little bit like going to Nepal. You know what I mean?
Lyle and Chuck(shared balloon):…
Panel 2: Close-up on Laramie’s face. His head is positioned so that we can see out the window. Put something interesting out there, like maybe a woman doing her laundry or a bird or somesuch.
Laramie: Okay, well, somewhere like Nepal…it’s a place with a lot of steps, right? A lot of mountains to climb up and stuff, right.
Lyle(off panel): I’ve never been to Nepal.
Laramie: Well, it does. And when you go somewhere like Nepal, with all the steps and crap, it seems like a lot of steps to climb. And it is. But when you get back to the U.S, it seems like, in comparison to like, fuckin’ Mount Kilimanjaro-
Chuck(off panel): Kilimanjaro is in Africa.
Laramie: Look, just…the point I’m trying to make is that the world where we live, right now, has certain rules to it. And if you’re somewhere where those rules don’t apply-like, for instance, Hell-if you’re in a place like that for even a short period of time, it’s easier to forget standard rules that places like Earth has because, subconsciously, you still think you’re playing by Hell’s rules, where you could, say, if you had some kind of crazy magic chain, pull whatever is on the other end of that chain into your skin. And I think that’s sort of how magic works. It’s just forgetting the rules and having the means to break them.
Panel 3: Lyle is getting up from his seat. Chuck has closed her eyes and is down to the last little bit of her chocolate bar. Laramie’s head is resting on his fists, looking pensive.
Chuck: Huh. That’s interesting.
Lyle: Man, I’ve gotta go call my dad and tell him I’m not going to be back home for a while.
Laramie: There’s better reception in the hall.
Page 10, Panel 1: Lyle is outside, in the hall, with his back to the door. He’s looking somewhat irritated at the room behind him, with his cellphone taken out and dialing.
Lyle: Must’ve stepped on a Tonka depot worth of toy trucks back there…
Phone: We’re sorry, *Hank Morris*, could not be reached. Please leave a message at the beep.
Lyle: Great.
Panel 2: From behind Lyle’s head, we see him leaning over to try and take a peak around the hall, where he hears voices coming from. He has his cellphone against his ear.
Lyle: Hey dad, it’s Lyle. I’m sorry for not calling earlier; it’s impossible to find a bus home right now. I’ll call you back as soon as I-
Voice 1: I don’t know how these fucks think they can hide. Goddamn ARROGANCE, that’s the one thing these magical pussies have in common.
Voice 2: No shit, man. I remember there was this one dude, made a salamander grow to like, 8 feet. Sort of useless, but y’know, still illegal. So I tell him to get into the wagon, and he starts giving me shit about how he’s this big fuckin’…wizard, or something, and y’know what I do?
Voice 1: You bust his fuckin’ head open?
Voice 2: Shyeah! Damn straight I bust his fuckin’ head open. Which room are we going to, by the way? 302?
Voice 1: Sounds right.
Lyle-can…Jesus Christ…
Panel 3: Lyle whirls around and sees that the room he’s emerged from is room 302, utterly panicked.
Lyle: Oh, man.
Panel 4: Lyle has slammed the door open, from a front view. The little kids are, varying from child to child, horrified to delighted. Lyle is holding the side of the wall, running forward and trying not to trip on a toy fire truck that he’s stepping on.
Lyle: YOU GUYS! WE’VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!
Panel 5: Lyle has thrown open the kitchen door, to see a whirling black hole where the kitchen table had been. Chuck looks like she was just about to jump in before Lyle came in. I think this shot should be from inside the kitchen, from the ground next to Chuck. Lyle looks a mixed of panicked and maybe somewhat embarrassed.
Chuck: Yeah, no shit. We knew a couple of minutes before you did, probably.
Lyle: …Why’s there a black hole where the kitchen table used to be?
Chuck: I think it would be better for everyone if you just stopped asking questions about this stuff.
Lyle: Gotcha.
Panel 6: From the other side of the hole, Lyle is stepping in with his body leaned forward and Chuck coming in head first, but not in a tripping, awkward sort of way. Lyle looks stunned, and Chuck just looks like she’s trying to get through the hole. A warm light is apparent in their surroundings.
Lyle: So do we not screw with Laramie because he works for this place?
Chuck: No, we don’t screw with Laramie because he OWNS this place.
Pages 11 and 12: Picture a mix of Gringotts bank from Harry Potter and the Temple of Zeus in Athens with creatures from a Bosch painting roaming around and you’ll get the general idea for what I want from this spread. Make columns, and maybe some weird-ass glass paintings of various monstrosities over the teller booths/cubicles/whatever. This place is definitely a bank, or similar place of business, but it has a sense of splendor and mystery that only weird, crazy monsters can give it. Lyle and Chuck are barely visible, looking on from the top of a long, winding staircase off to the side of the picture.
Lyle(in a very, very tiny word balloon):…Gosh.
Page 13: I’d like this page to be divided into six panels that show the two of them walking down the winding staircase. It should all be one picture, framed into six smaller pictures. I’d like it to be in a fixed view for the majority of the time, from profile and switching directions on the winding staircase, except in the case of the first panel, which is more at three quarters view and directly facing the viewer.
Panel 1: They’re at the top of the stairs. In this panel, they should be starting to walk down, with a toad-like abomination of sorts raising a single hand in a holy manner to lead them down the stairs. Lyle is looking at it with awe, while Chuck seems to accept this as business as usual.
Frog: Welcome back to Town Hall, Chuk-Yi Kwan, and to your friend…I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting. You are…?
Lyle: Christ. It’s like something from an Iron Maiden song, except without Bruce Dickinson howling at you.
Chuck: First of all, Iron Maiden rules, and more importantly, now he thinks that’s your name.
Frog: Welcome to Town Hall, Christit’slikesomethingfromanIronMaidensongexceptwithoutBruceDickinsonhowlingatyou. My! That’s a long title, for one so young.
Lyle: Jesus.
Frog: Jesus for short? Indeed. Welcome to Town Hall, Jesus.
Lyle: Shit!
Frog: Do you wish to be addressed as Jesus or Shit, young sir?
Chuck: Just call him Shit, Frog. C’mon, we’ve gotta get going.
Frog: Indeed. Peace be with you, Shit!
Panel 2: They’ve begun their descent down the stairs. A man-sized bat carrying a file in one hand and drinking from a coffee mug in the other flies to their side, so that he’s seen but not on the same level our protagonists are. On the floor, an ogre mops up the floors, making it slippery enough for a creature carrying a stack of papers to slip, and looks as though he’s about to skid into the ogre. They’re still high up, so there should be some glass paintings of various abominations(use your imagination).
Lyle: So, I’m wondering how I’m safer down here in The Rabbit Hole from Hell than I would be above ground.
Chuck: You know what I’m wondering? I’m wondering how you’re taking all this with such stride. The first time I came to Town Hall I just about started sobbing right where I stood.
Lyle: I don’t know. This all feels normal to me, somehow.
Panel 3: They’re still walking down the same direction. In this panel, lower than the staircase we have something that looks distinctly like a blue, four armed phallus carrying a mystical-looking rocket launcher on his back and loping through the halls. A gorilla dressed as a Franciscan monk waves to the weird penis-creature. Lyle and Chuck have both turned their heads away from the reader to look over the side of the staircase at this thing.
Chuck: Really. A blue dick with a rocket launcher just…loping down the halls is normal to you.
Lyle: Well, no, I mean…obviously I have my limits. It’s mostly the ambience of this place I’m talking about, y’know? Not like I’ve been her before, but like I’ve seen it in a brochure or something.
Gorilla Monk: Mornin’, Brother Jebediah.
Phallus: Back at you, Father.
Panel 4: The stairs wind and change direction. Chuck is in front of Lyle and looking back at him. A small wooden boat is rowing itself through the sky in front of our protagonists. Behind them, a glass painting of another Franciscan gorilla holding the cross and under the picture reads “Our Father” in latin(I’ll find out the translation later). There’s a legged old-style rotary telephone receiver tromping down the rail, forcing Chuck to lift up her hand in order for him to pass.
Lyle: Alright, so really, where are we? I feel like I’m sauntering through the crevices of Jim Morrison’s brain.
Chuck: You’re not far off, actually. Where we are is…pretty much, it’s where everywhere that doesn’t make sense gets banished to. Like-oh, Dale! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.
Phone(Dale): Not a problem, Chuck. You have a nice day, now.
Chuck: Sweet little appliance, that guy. Anyways, no, this is essentially a small city that exists somewhere between here and there that our friend Laramie made as a sanctuary for all of the world’s crazy shit to just come and, I dunno, be safe, I guess.
Lyle: So I’m where Jim Morrison would have pitched his crappy ideas.
Chuck: That’s kind of harsh, but yeah, I guess.
Panel 5: They make way for a group child-sized mice in camo-gear and army-issue weaponry rushing up the stairs, pressing themselves up against the side of the stairway. Something between a mix of a rubber-chicken and a ferret fly’s overhead, dropping an old, black clock down into Chuck’s open hands. A mouse in the middle of the group has turned his head up to talk to Chuck.
Lyle: Holy-!
Chuck: Hey, whoa, guys. Where you headed to?
Mouse: ‘Mergency, ma’am. ‘Parantely there are young children Up Top that are being threatened by the Counter-Mage Institute. We’re heading up to insure the young ones are safe.
Mouse at the head: GET A MOVE ON, ROOKIE!
Mouse earlier: SIR, YES SIR!!
Lyle: Counter-Mage Institute? Is that who you were talking about earlier? The same guys who were going to nail us for summoning Jimmy?
Chuck: The very same. I’m guessing that I know who the kids are, also.
Lyle: Oh, shit. You don’t think it’s Laramie’s brood, is it?
Chuck: Probably. (Nice drop-off, Dwayne).
Lyle: What’s that for?
Chuck: Personal stuff. We’d better get down to the bottom.
Panel 6: Laramie is waiting on the bottom floor, sitting on a disgruntled-looking chair. He himself doesn’t seem terribly worried. Lyle and Chuck rush down the stairs to see him sitting there.
Chuck: Laramie!
Laramie: Yeah, I heard. Frankly I’m not too concerned.
Lyle: …Why?
Laramie: Because the CMI is full of shit, that’s why.
(Note: The crazy nonsense I listed are only things I’d sorta like to see. Feel free to make tweaks and add in whatever crazy shit you feel is appropriate for the scene.)
Page 14, Panel 1: Lyle and Chuck are walking behind Laramie, facing towards the reader. Laramie walks down the hall with a sort of bravado, while Lyle has a look of cock-eyed cynicism on his face.
Lyle: Yeah, it must be comforting to think that your kids aren’t in trouble, but I overheard them in the hall, and they’re looking to bust some heads.
Laramie: No they aren’t. They’re looking to get themselves into a situation where they can create an anecdote about busting heads and tell it to their friends.
Lyle: Whuh?
Chuck: Essentially, they’re mall cops. They never see any real action-and if they did they wouldn’t be prepared for it-but they like to think that they do and talk to their friends about how hard they are. They’re like those stupid rich kids at school who wear baggy pants and a chain and think they’re the most ghetto motherfuckers who ever walked the earth.
Lyle: Got it. But…so why are we running from them to begin with?
Panel 2: From a profile view, Laramie unlocks a door to a room that reads SECURITY. A massive walkingstick passes between Lyle and Chuck.
Laramie: Because, like mall cops, they can still get you in trouble with the law, even if they themselves can’t do much of anything. The thing is-
Walkingstick: Did you hear about the CMI, sir?! They’re up in your apartment!
Laramie: I heard. Carry on; I’ve got this under control.
Panel 3: Laramie opens the door for the two protagonists, holding it open for them to walk through. We can see inside that there are a few computer screens and a weird rune shape on the ground. Lyle and Chuck’s backs are to the reader.
Laramie: Anyhow, the thing with the CMI is that not a lot of people know how useless they are. They’re figureheads, essentially. They’re taught to act tough but not to be tough. Step in here, I think you can learn something from what you’re about to see.
Panel 4: A very tiny panel: Laramie’s hand clicks a remote control. All we see is the hand hitting the button.
Panel 5: The walls and the rest of the room peel away to reveal that the entire room is essentially a cylindrical mass of moss. There is one opening in the wall with a screen. The three are standing on the rune shape, the only visible solid surface to stand on. Chuck and Lyle both look amazed.
Lyle: You know, I guess compared with everything else I’ve seen today this shouldn’t be that weird, but holy crap, everything’s made of moss!
Chuck: Yeah, what gives? I always thought that this room was one place in the entire Town Hall that could be described as state-of-the-art.
Laramie: Well, budget cuts, laziness and bored swamp creatures all sort of combined to make a security center that wasn’t exactly what we would call…functioning, at the time. It’s been fixed since then, but I had a spell that makes everything look all chrome-y used on this room when it’s not in use.
Chuck: Because everything’s made of moss.
Laramie: Yeah.
Page 15, Panel 1: We’re looking up at the screen with Laramie, Lyle and Chuck. The scowling face of one of the CMI Agents is filling up the screen.
Agent: We know you’re housing users, Laramie! Let us have them and your kids won’t get hur-what the fuck’s up with the moss?
Laramie: Why can’t anyone get over the Goddamn moss?
Lyle: Well, it’s silly. Who has a security room made of moss?
Agent: Holy Christ, this is your SECURITY room? What the fuck is your lobby made out of, bark?
Laramie: Look, it’s not…I’m not handing them over to you.
Panel 2: From a three-quarters view, we can see that one of them behind the Agent who was just talking is holding up a child with a knife to his throat. Chuck has her hands over her mouth, and Lyle is doing his best to look threatening. Laramie is as impassive as ever.
Agent: I don’t have to tell you the House of Morrow’s policy on magic. We’re authorized to use any means necessary to get you to hand them over. We WILL murder this child if you don’t hand them over within the next five minutes.
Kid: UNCLE LARYMIE!
Lyle: Laramie, we can turn ourselves in. It’s not worth one of these kids getting killed over.
Laramie: First of all, the House of Morrow can suck my nuts. I have immunity. And secondly, no, you’re not going to kill these kids.
Agent: What’s to stop me from gutting the little prick right now?
Laramie: Because you’re a poser, and a pussy. You’re a posing pussy. You don’t have it in you. And now just because you frightened me a little with the idea, I’m going to have to make an example of you.
Panel 3: From profile view. Laramie’s arms grow enormous, as big as his body. Lyle looks over at Laramie, stunned and frightened.
SFX: SHUNG!
Lyle: Agh! What the fuck-
Panel 4: From a front view, Laramie is holding Lyle up and about to throw him like a shot-put player. Lyle is immensely panicked.
Lyle: Holy shit holy shit holy shit-
Panel 5: From a side view, and from far away, Lyle is sent soaring through the air, towards the screen.
Lyle: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Panel 6: Lyle smashes through the TV in Laramie’s apartment, much to the amazement of the Agents and the children. Doctor Jimmy has been knocked separately from Lyle in the impact, leaning up against the leg of a chair situated somewhere behind the television. Lyle is unconscious, lying at the foot of a reclining chair. Jimmy is shaking the glass and various debris out of his clothes.
SFX: SKRAAASSSHHH
Doctor Jimmy: Okay…
Page 16: A one-page splash. Doctor Jimmy is enraged, standing up, with his shotgun clenched between his hands. We should be able to feel the fury streaming out of Jimmy in this shot.
Doctor Jimmy: WHICH OF YOU FUCKS IS GONNA BE THE FIRST TO DIE?!
Page 17, Panel 1: An Agent runs at Doctor Jimmy with a knife. Profile view.
Agent: Yaaaaaaa-
Panel 2: Jimmy smashes the agent’s face with his shotgun before he can reach him. Blood erupts from the agent’s face, and the blade goes flying elsewhere.
Agent-AAAGHHH!
Panel 3: Jimmy delivers a roundhouse kick to an agent in front of him, while shooting one behind him in the stomach with his gun.
SFX(for the kick): SLAM!
SFX(for the blast): BOOM!
Panel 4: Jimmy swings from a cheap chandelier hanging over the living room, smashing another two agents in the face with his boots.
SFX: CRUUUUUNCH
Panel 5: One last agent, the one beaten with the knife from before, tries to sneak up behind him and gets another shotgun barrel to the face.
Panel 6: There’s another agent, standing at the door, with his knees shaking and a gun drawn, but he’s obviously in no emotional state to fire it. Jimmy looks at him and points. The shot should be from over Doctor Jimmy’s shoulder.
Doctor Jimmy: You tell those shitheads back at the House what you saw here today, and you tell them that Doctor Jimmy will fuck them up if they so much as think about trying to bust my balls again. You got that?
Agent: Yes.
Doctor Jimmy: YOU GOT THAT?!
Agent: Y-YES!
Panel 7: From a frontal view, so that we see Jimmy’s face while he’s doing this, Jimmy blasts out the Agent’s kneecaps with his shotgun.
Jimmy: Damn straight you got that.
Page 18, Panel 1: It’s a somber change from the last page. We have Lyle still on the floor but rousting himself, Laramie leaning up against the T.V and Chuck just stepping out of the screen. Jimmy stands in front of the man who’s legs he just shot out, looking down at him, while we can see the various scattered unconscious, beat up and in one case, blown apart bodies littering the apartment.
Man Whose Knees Were Shot: Aaaahhh…aaah…
Panel 2: Lyle is at the foreground of the picture, waking up totally and holding his head. Laramie and Chuck are in the background, with Chuck just recently getting herself fully through the other side of the T.V screen.
Lyle: Christ Almighty, I feel like I was hit by the cross-town bus.
Laramie: Well, I guarantee you’re in better shape than these poor sons of bitches. Most inner demons aren’t so effective at beatdowns.
Chuck: Yeah, you should really think about what that might signify.
Lyle: Ha…
Panel 3: All the little kids are huddled in the hall that leads to the bathroom and bedroom. They’re mixes of mortified and jaw-hanging-open stunned. This should be from over Lyle’s shoulder, but in a way so that we can still see the side of his face.
Lyle: …Oh man, you guys. The kids.
Panel 4: Chuck has raced over to be with the small children, down on her knees with them. Lyle looks around the room uncomfortably, while Doctor Jimmy leans up against the wall and smokes a cigarette. Laramie surveys the damage with sorrow.
Lyle: This is really…this is messed up, Chuck.
Laramie: They were threatening to cut up children, Lyle. What else could I have done?
Lyle: I don’t know, but I don’t think we had to call out Jimmy. We could have done this some other way.
Doctor Jimmy: Fuck you, man.
Panel 5: Lyle is approaching Doctor Jimmy in a menacing manner. Chuck is shuffling the kids out of the room. Laramie is leaning back with his hand on his face in exasperation.
Lyle: The FUCK did you just say to me?
Doctor Jimmy: Fuck. You. You count yourself lucky I didn’t smack up the little bastards while I was at it.
Chuck: Hey…kids, let’s go out in the hall, huh?
Page 19, Panel 1: Lyle and Doctor Jimmy are facing each other, with Laramie pushing the two of them away from each other.
Lyle: If you even raise a hand to one of those kids, part of me or not I swear to God you’re gonna find yourself face down in the gutter.
Jimmy: Try it, asshole.
Laramie: Okay, guys. Stop your fighting. There is a simple way to solve our differences.
Panel 2: Laramie yanks on the chain and sends Jimmy flying up through Lyle’s arm.
Laramie: In ya go!
SFX: SCHLOOORRRRPPP
Panel 3: Laramie has turned to face Lyle now. We can only see the back of Laramie’s head, from a three quarters view we see Lyle, looking like he’s trying to comprehend what Laramie’s saying, maybe with an eyebrow thing.
Laramie: Not so much fucking fun, is it?
Lyle: What do you mean?
Panel 4: A shot of just Laramie. We’re looking up at him from the ground, with an intensity we haven’t seen with this character yet.
Laramie: The magical life. Do you get that it’s not just buckets of fun? It’s just as hard for a magic user as an average person to get through the day, harder so if you’re in defiance of something. Because you know what? I have a story worked out to make this look like a home invasion, but it’s not going to work unless more of these guys have bullets in them. So do you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to shoot these guys in as many places, and as many times as I need to, until my story sounds logical.
Panel 5: We’re just close-up on Laramie’s face now. Lyle is reflected with a sort of fright in his glasses. We’re looking over the top of Laramie’s glasses, looking into his raging, passionate eyes.
Laramie: THIS is what we spend most of our time doing, Lyle. For every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction. Every time you use magic-however benign-you take out a piece of the jigsaw puzzle, and you have to carve a new one to make the picture whole again. Do you get what I’m saying?
Panel 6: Lyle looks like a defeated dog. Laramie is pointing a gun dripping with blood at the ground, at an unseen target.
Lyle: No…
Laramie: Well, actions speak louder than words, I suppose.
Page 20, Panel 1: Laramie blasts a couple of the thugs.
SFX: BOOM BOOM
Panel 2: Another set of thugs get shot in the arm, the leg and the gut. The wood splinters and some blood pops out of them.
SFX: BOOM BOOM BANG
Thug: AGH!
Thug 2: Urrrr…oh God…
Panel 3: Laramie turns to Lyle, but from a perspective as though he’s looking directly at the reader. This should be by far the largest panel, taking up a good 60% of the page.
Laramie: You still want to be a part of this world, Lyle?
Panel 4: A small panel. Lyle is looking down at the floor next to him, almost in a hangdog sort of way.
Panel 5: Lyle is standing the same way, except now he’s facing the reader, also.
Lyle: What choice do I have?
Page 21, Panel 1: Laramie is clapping Lyle on the back, using the hand he hasn’t been holding the gun in. Lyle looks ragged, but he’s smiling weakly.
Laramie: Good answer, boyo. Now let’s make this look like a normal crime scene, huh?
Panel 2: Laramie is on his cell-phone, with just his head for this shot.
Laramie: Father Silver? Yeah, it’s the Mayor. I’m going to need a finger-print remover of some kind and several thousand somethings that look like American currency. Can I have that up here in five minutes?…Fantastic.
Panel 3: There are police all across the room, examining the crime scene. Lyle is sitting down with a cup of water, watching Laramie give his explanation for what happened.
Box: 20 minutes later.
Laramie:…So I guess these guys must have heard from somewhere that I have, you know, a LOT of money in this apartment, and from what I can tell there must’ve been some kind of fight over who would get what cut of the cash. I was out at the time, but my kids…they saw the whole thing, poor little guys.
Narrative Box: I can’t believe he’s going to get away with this.
Panel 4: The police are leaning over a group of children who are trying to act out what they were told to the police.
Kid 1: And then the one guy said, “I wants my money!” And then he took out a gun and shot the other guy.
Kid 2: Nuh-uh, the other guy shot first!
N.B: Of course, Laramie managed to make a story for each of these guys to tell. I don’t know whether to be repulsed or impressed, but this guy’s obviously an expert on covering his ass. (I still don’t know what happened to that little group of mice, though)
Panel 5: Laramie glances over at Lyle. An ominous shot.
Lyle: I’ll have to keep my eyes open.
Page 22, Panel 1: Lyle, from a three quarters view, from the ground on the area his dad is standing, is in a heated, almost violent looking verbal exchange with his dad. The house looks as crappy as ever.
Lyle(Narrative Box): So after Laramie offered up his story, the cops sent me home, and my dad…I don’t really wanna talk about it, actually.
Panel 2: Lyle is in his room, reading Crime and Punishment with some large headphones over his ears. It’s a rare moment of serenity for Lyle.
Lyle: My room is still my favorite place.
Panel 3: Lyle is trudging through the halls of his school, carrying a back-pack that’s too big and with a look of bitterness about him.
Lyle: I decided that I should start going back to school. As it turns out I’m an okay student, but I’m still wondering if it was worth it.
Panel 4: Lyle is sitting with one leg arched up on the bus-stop. He has his chin cupped in his hand, looking pensively off into the distance.
Lyle: I haven’t heard from Chuck or Laramie in almost five weeks. Life is boring.
Page 23, Panel 1: From down the street, Chuck comes rushing towards Lyle. Lyle looks far more pleased than he probably should.
Chuck: Lyle!
Lyle: Chuck! Hey!
Panel 2: They hug. Profile view. Lyle looks a little bit red in the face, not from embarrassment, but from happiness(if that’s unclear, talk to me).
Chuck: Mmmm! How have you been?
Lyle: Erm...Not great. I forgot how dull school can make a guy. Heh.
Panel 3: Chuck is grabbing Lyle’s hand and pulling him away to the side of a nearby building. Lyle looks confused, but not displeased. Chuck is grinning brightly.
Chuck: Ha! I hear that. Hey, c’mere I have something to show you.
Lyle: Uh…okay.
Panel 4: From profile view. Chuck is holding her hands out cupped so that we can’t see what’s in them. A black light radiates from her hands and straight up into the sky. Lyle stares up at the light in amazement, while Chuck just smiles at him.
Chuck: Hey, Lyle…
Page 24: A one page splash. We see a picture of Chuck smiling, holding in her hands a brightly glowing black rose. There’s a bizarre looking ivy growing out of the side of her coat and draping across her sleeves. Other plants that look to be alive are coming out of her pockets, including one that looks like an anaconda made out of moss opening its gaping jaws at the reader.
Chuck: Have I ever told you about my garden?
Bottom Right Corner: NEXT: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK ROSE!
Art in the very next post, so you can see all of it at once!
The First Script
As promised, here's the script for the first issue. The script for the second issue will be up later, as well as art for the second issue(none for the first):
Into The Mystic Issue #1
Chris Jones
Page 1, Panel 1: A young man (Lyle) sits on a bench in the park, with a guitar. It’s fairly far away from the kid, and it’s around sunset. He’s playing the guitar, people are walking past him. It’s not a busy hour, but there are still plenty of people. Note that there’s no receptacle for him to get money for his guitar playing. He’s about 15 years old, in a bomber jacket, with brown hair. He’s maybe 5’7, 140 pounds. He looks quite into what he’s singing, a Radiohead song. He’s playing an Austin Bazaar 38” black guitar.
Narrative Box(Lyle): I’m not doing this because I want people to give me money.
Lyle(singing): Two jumps in a week, I bet you think that’s pretty clever, doooooon’t you boy…
Panel 2: We’re behind Lyle now, still at a distance. We see people passing in front of him, and we can’t see his face really well. We just know that he’s intense about what he’s singing.
Narrative Box: I’m not doing this because I got this guitar on Amazon for like forty bucks and wanted to test it out.
Lyle: Flying on your motorcycle, watching all the ground beneath you drooooooppppp…
Panel 3: We’re closer to Lyle now, the shot situated directly in front of him. He’s tapping his foot up and down. Maybe we have people entering and exiting the panel why he’s playing the song?
Narrative Box: I’m not doing this because my girlfriend lives two cities away and hasn’t called me in like a week.
Lyle: You’d kill yourself for recognition, kill yourself to never, ever stoooooooop…
Panel 4: Now we’re pretty much at a side angle on Lyle’s face, with very little else in the shot, save for maybe a tree and a trash can in the background, or some other parkish thing. He’s really getting into it now.
Narrative Box: I’m not doing this because I want somebody outside of my little cult of friends to acknowledge that I exist.
Lyle: You broke another mirror, you’re turning into something yoouuu arrrreee nooooootttt…
Panel 5: We’re at about the angle we were in Panel 3, maybe just a little bit closer, and an empty can of soda has just flown through the air and beaned Lyle on the side of the head. He is noticeably displeased about this.
Narrative Box: I’m not doing this because I don’t like who I see in the mirror, and think that if somebody else likes me, maybe I will too.
Lyle: So don’t leave me hiiiiiiigh….don’t leave me drrryyyyyyy-Agh! What the hell-?!
Page 2: Splash page. Lyle’s sitting on the bench, hunched over, clutching the neck of his guitar. A large, jockish character is walking away with a girl around his arm and the girl is laughing. Lyle’s staring directly at the reader at this point, bitterly.
Jock: Hey, kid! You SUCK!
Girl: Aww, that’s so mean-!
Narrative Box: I’ve never even seen this guy before. I can’t have been playing THAT badly, can I?
HOUSE PARTY-PART 1
Page 3, Panel 1: Lyle just looks sad now, holding his guitar limply at his side, staring at the ground. There are little motion marks by his jeans pocket, indicating a cellphone buzz.
N.B: In some ways, I guess I should be grateful that ANYONE notices me, because I have pretty much no personality aside from being a whiny loser. At least, that’s how I see it.
SFX: Brrrrrzzzz
Panel 2: A hand, looking down at the cell phone screen. Pretty much nothing else besides the hand holding the cell phone and the screen is visible.
Screen: party 2nite u comin?
N.B: I keep hoping Miranda will call me. Instead, it’s my friend Jared.
Panel 3: Lyle’s face, looking contemplative. We can see him gripping the cell phone, still. It’s a shot essentially from the arm up.
N.B: Jared’s an asshole. At one party he promised me that he was going to get me laid and then locked me in an empty room for twenty minutes while he gathered up all the drunk hotties and got blown more times in one evening than most guys do in a span of six months. I’d be an idiot to let him talk me into going to another one.
Panel 4: Kind of a hazy panel of Lyle standing in a room that’s pretty much invisible to the viewer except for the door frame and what’s outside of it, which is Jared mildly drunk and some women who are severely drunk fawning around him. Lyle is standing just in front of them, three quarters view, hunched over, clutching a bottle of vodka, looking cock-eyed and concentrated into the room. It should be pretty comical.
Jared: I’m telling you, man, there’s a…ghost, right there, and you can only see him if you stare at him for like…half an hour.
Jared(2): I’m gonna go do stuff.
Lyle: ‘Kay.
Panel 5: Pretty much the same panel except that the door has slammed shut and we just see Lyle now.
Panel 6: Lyle looks out at the reader, kind of stupefied.
Panel 7: Lyle’s carrying the guitar on his back, walking away from the park down the path. People are traversing through the background, with Lyle holding a cigarette in one hand and fumbling with a lighter in another.
N.B: Well, what else am I going to do with my time, go to school? Not fucking likely.
Page 4: I’d like this page to be set up more vertically than the others, with a series of smaller, square panels going down it as opposed to a normal layout.
Panel 1: Lyle’s sitting at his desk with a teacher standing over him, profile view. He’s awkwardly searching through his backpack, papers flying out all over his desk.
Box: Period 1
Lyle: Look, I KNOW I packed it this morning. Just give me a minute, I know it’s in here-
Panel 2: Lyle is leaning over his desk, staring at the exposed thong strings of the girl sitting in front of him. He’s got kind of a sheepish smile on his face, with the girl turning around, looking at him as any girl would look at some weirdo looking at her ass.
Box: Period 4
Balloon(off panel): Lyle? Can you repeat to the class what I just said? Lyle?
Panel 3: Lyle is sitting in front of a window, his mouth wide open and drool coming out of his mouth, his head leaned back and slumping over the back of the chair. The kid sitting next to him is asleep also, his head passed out on Lyle’s desk.
Box: Period 6
Teacher: So if we carry the four and divide by six…
Panel 4: Lyle is sitting in his desk, staring intently at his watch. Once again, everyone around him is laughing, and once again, the teacher casts an imposing silhouette over Lyle.
Box: Period 8
Lyle: As a matter of fact, I don’t think it would be at ALL unreasonable to let us out twenty minutes early, if all you’re going to do is jabber on about lymph nodes and dendrites or whatever the hell it is you people find so attractive about biology. That’s all I’m saying.
Page 5, Panel 1: Lyle is walking up the steps to his house; not exactly run down, but not really a fancy place, either; think lower middle-class. There’s a Pinto parked in the tiny garage next to the house, and a basketball that’s been ripped to shreds.
N.B: It’s actually been pretty easy to fool my dad into thinking I’ve been going to school. I get home a full four hours before he does, so all I have to do is delete any e-mails and erase any calls that have the words “failing”, “truancy” or “attacked so-and–so with such-and-such” and he spends every day thinking I’m a productive student.
Panel 2: Lyle is unlocking the door to his house, with a weary look on his face. He still has a cigarette in his mouth during all of this page. Profile view.
N.B: I’ve been suspended twice this year for fighting alone. He doesn’t suspect. Not even a little.
Panel 3: A big panel, the focus of the page. Lyle is walking through his living room to the steps to the top floor. The living room is absurdly cluttered; there are clothes lying on the floor, beer and soda cans lying all over the place, pizza boxes, magazines and DVD boxes lying all over the place.
N.B: Sometimes I just want to kill myself.
Panel 4: We’re in his room(I’ll let you decide what it would look like, given what we know about the character, the only thing is that I think there should be a desk next to his bed) The window is open, and there’s a small bird resting on the sill. This is from an over-the-shoulder view of Lyle looking into his room.
Panel 5: Lyle is stroking the small bird with his hand. He’s smiling wistfully at the little animal, as though it were a lover or a friend he identified with on every level. He’s putting his cigarette out on the windowsill, next to the bird.
Page 6: Lyle is lying in his bed, his jacket strewn over a chair. It’s a birds-eye view of Lyle taking a nap, the sun streaming through the window and onto the bed. The little bird is perched on his desk and pecking at little crumbs on it. Note that it’s actually Lyle saying this in real time, and not a narrative box.
Lyle: But not today.
Page 7, Panel 1: Lyle jets up out of bed, a startled look on his face. Small panel, not much else is visible. Maybe he scares the little bird by sitting up so fast.
Box: Two hours pass
Lyle: HOLY SHIT, THE PARTY!
Panel 2: Lyle is throwing on his jacket and dashing down the stairs, the single bud of an earphone slinking down below his neck. His dad is lying on the couch with his hand over his eyes, tired.
Lyle: See you later, Dad!
Dad: Have fun.
Panel 3: Dad moves his hand away so that you can see one eye. A small panel, once again.
Panel 4: The exact same panel, but with a word balloon.
Dad: Since when has that boy had ANYWHERE to be getting to?
Panel 5: Lyle is walking down the street, nervously pulling out his cell-phone. He just walked past a streetlight, and he’s definitely out of his neighborhood and into a more urban area by this point.
N.B: Goddamn it. I don’t even know where this thing is supposed to be. Fuck me. Fuck me sideways. Where am I?
Panel 6: Lyle is walking up the steps to a house much more upper-class than he’s used to being at, and it’s evident on his face. A girl in a dress is hugging him as he walks up the steps.
Box: 20 minutes later
Girl: LYLE! I’m so glad that you made it. Jared said that you had come down with violent diarrhea and might have to stay home.
Lyle: Did he, isn’t that something…
Page 8, Panel 1: A big panel of a gigantic room, swarming with partygoers. Everyone is drinking, hanging around, having a good time. The house is money, bordering on a mansion.
Lyle: Nice, um…place you got here, Lucy. Big.
Lucy: Isn’t it? C’mon, there’s beer over in the kitchen.
Lyle: Scotch?
Lucy: Scotch is in the kitchen also.
Lyle: To the kitchen.
Panel 2: Jared, a huge, lanky skater-type, puts Lyle in a headlock. He’s holding Lyle’s head in one hand and a beer in the other. He’s clearly drunk. Lyle looks embarrassed as well as struggling to breathe, and Lucy looks slightly repulsed.
Jared: BRO!! You made it!
Lyle: It’s…nice to see you too, J.
Jared: Dude. There is something you have GOT to see upstairs.
Panel 3: Lyle is looking up at Jared, from the perspective of the back of Jason’s head. Lyle is looking slightly concerned, hoping that Jason will understand what he’s saying.
Lyle: Actually, Jared, I’m…sorta going to go get sloshed with Lucy. Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait until after I’m drunk.
Jared: Ah, bro, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had a thing for this chick. I’ll leave you alone. Tell me if the head is good!
Panel 4: Lyle is turning nervously from Jared to Lucy. He has a nervous smile on his face. Jared looks like he’s about to start laughing, and Lucy has her head in her hand. The party continues in the background.
Lyle: Ha, you know what, I think I’ll go with you up to the…place. Jared. Lucy, are you-?
Lucy: I’m fine.
Lyle: Awesome, awesome. Dibs on the scotch, a’ight?
Lucy: Sure.
Panel 5: From a front-view, Lyle and Jared are walking up the stairs. Lyle looks positively enraged, and Jared is as laid back as can be. There’s a couple on the stairs making out, in a sense almost adding insult to injury.
Lyle: I hate you so much I could scream.
Jared: You can’t afford to hate me, bro. I’m the only friend you’ve got who can get you into parties.
Lyle: And if you’re going to keep cock-blocking me than what’s the point of going in the first place?!?
Panel 6: A very small panel. We can see by Jared’s sleeve that he’s the one opening the door. All we see is Jared’s hand turning the knob.
Lyle(off panel): Dude, whatever this little expedition is, if it’s going to keep me from getting laid than it had better be pretty…fucking…
Page 9: A splash page. Lyle is standing in the doorway of a room filled with demonic wall-scrolls, enchantments, pages of the Bible plastered to the wall, and all kinds of other goth crap littered around(you might know this stuff better than I do, so try to make it look legitimate, but still have an air of magic about it.) A kid in a Polo shirt is being levitated by an Asian goth girl sitting cross-legged on her bed. She’s raising her hands almost as though she were cupping water to her mouth. The boy being levitated has an expression of euphoria on his face. He’s on his back, floating up and down in one place. The hands should signify that she’s holding him in the same spot. Lyle is simply awestruck, and Jason is just leaning against the wall, smug.
Lyle:…Fantastic…
Jared: Told ya.
Kid: Holy shit. Holy shit! How are you doing this?!
Goth girl: Magic, honey.
Page 10, Panel 1: Lyle is walking around the kid who’s floating, still amazed, and looking at the Goth girl. She’s turned her attention to Lyle.
Lyle: Okay, seriously…how are you doing that? I can’t see wires or anything. What’s the trick?
Girl: The trick is magic. Lord, you’re a thick bunch. My name’s Chyuk-Yi, by the way, Chuck for short. I went by “Azraella” for a couple of years, back when I was first getting into this occult shit, but about the time I turned 15 I realized that it made me sound like a character from a D&D manual and-
Panel 2: The kid in the polo shirt drops to the ground with a thud. Both Chuck and Lyle’s attentions are turned to the kid, and you can only see the back of their heads. I’d like this panel and the two after it to be organized in kind of a “stacked” formation, this one on top of the other two.
Chuck: Ah, hell. See what you made me do? You okay, kid?
Panel 3: Pretty much exactly the same panel, except that the kid is sitting up now.
Kid: Holy shit, you kiddin’? I’ve never felt better! I’ve gotta tell my friends about this!
Panel 4: Once again, the same panel, except that the kid has left the room entirely.
Panel 5: Chuck, from profile view, is locking the door to her room with a key. She looks slightly exasperated.
Chuck: What a hassle. These frat fucks are always the first to come to me for “fun”. I probably just gave that guy’s soul to the King of Spiders and he won’t even realize it until he tries to get a girl pregnant.
Lyle(off panel): That seems…harsh.
Chuck: Magic’s some trippy shit, Mr., ah…I don’t ever think I got your name.
Lyle: Lyle.
Panel 6: Chuck is walking back towards Lyle, who is sitting on the bed, her back to the reader, with Lyle looking vaguely frightened.
Chuck: Lyle. Got it.
Lyle: So, uh…why did you lock the door?
Chuck: I need to concentrate to pull off the heavy shit.
Lyle: “The heavy shit”?
Chuck: Yeah, there’s something I want to try. Hold still.
Page 11, Panel 1: Lyle’s jumped up onto his feet by now. He looks quite scared. The room has gotten a strange lighting at this point; half of all the things visible have been washed in black, including Lyle’s side and the part of Chuck that we can see. We can only see the back of Chuck, still.
Lyle: Whoa, wait. Wait a second. I’m all for experimenting with the forces of magic. I totally get that. Fuck, even I’M a little surprised at how nonchalantly I’ve taken the floating frat kid, and I think I’ve been a good sport by not running away from the crazy bitch who wants to suck out my soul.
Chuck: Yeah, you’ve been pretty cool about this whole thing, actually. Most people just kind of shit their pants at this point.
Lyle: See! Exactly my point. So, hey, I can go down and get Jared and you can try this Voodoo shit on his stoned self, alright. And then you and me, it’ll be like we never even had this conversation, yeah? Because you’ll be preoccupied with sucking out his soul or whatever crazy fucking thing you-WERE-about to do with me, and I can go on, y’know…living. With my soul.
Chuck: You talk a lot. It’s cute. Not particularly masculine, but…cute, in a shivering puppy sort of way.
Panel 2: Lyle is backing up towards the door by now, smiling nervously, with his hand on the door knob. She’s looking at him like he’s kind of stupid. From a mostly profile view.
Lyle: Alright, so now that that’s settled, I’ll just get the FUCK out of here-
Page 12, Panel 1: A close-up of Chuck. The background has gone completely red, here eyes are glassy, and the angle is three quarters, her front side facing towards the reader. There’s a green mist coming out of her hand, which she’s holding towards the reader.
Chuck: Sit down, you big pussy.
Panel 2: The green light has wrapped itself around Lyle. He’s looking at the light as though it were a snake constricting him. Chuck is watching with her arms folded. No dialogue.
Panel 3: Now Lyle is looking at Chuck in a way that bespeaks skepticism. She’s rolling her eyes at him.
Lyle: So you’ve gone from levitation to throwing ropes on people? Jesus. Most magicians will at least do a card trick after they pull the rabbit out of the hat.
Chuck: Oh my GOD, you are such a skeevey dork. No wonder your girlfriend is cheating on you, I’d be screwing other guys just out of spite at this point.
Panel 4: Lyle is staring down at the ground and away from Chuck. He’s gritting his teeth. Chuck looks sort of pleased, in a malicious kind of way. She’s touching his nose, in that cutsey sort of way that couples do occasionally.
Lyle: Go fuck yourself.
Chuck: Nah. But it’s good to see you showing something besides contempt. The Chandler act was getting a little old, anyways. Alright, now…
Panel 5: Lyle, with his bondage, has been flung to the ceiling of the room. The light has turned into more of a sticky spider-web keeping him to the ceiling than ropes or chains, as it was before. He’s hit the ceiling with a thud. Chuck has the face of a little girl who’s playfully involved in a game of basketball. She’s raised her hand up and cupped it, with the green light still coming out of it.
Chuck: …UP YOU GO!
Lyle: AGH!
Page 13, Panel 1: From a profile view, Chuck is looking at Lyle, her head tilted back, with Lyle in a rage. The room has gone smoky with the green light.
(Note: I want the first three panels to be pretty small. The last three should be the focus of the page)
Chuck: Now, if we’re quite done beating around the bush-
Lyle: WE?! Fuck you! Get me down from here!
Chuck:…if we’re QUITE done, I want to try something. I want you to think about a girl you’ve always wanted to fuck, but you never got the chance to, either because of her big stupid boyfriend who would’ve pounded the hell out of you, or you were just too much of a chickenshit to ask her out. Which, in your case, I’m imagining won’t be too hard to visualize.
Lyle: Holy Christ, I’m on the ceiling. I’m on the fucking ceiling.
Chuck: I know you are. I put you there. Now do what I just said or you’re going to get your spirit torn in half. Like, seriously.
Panel 2: A small picture of Lyle closing his eyes and keeping them shut tightly, screwing up his face.
Narrative Box: Fuck me. Fuck me in the TEETH.
Panel 3: A smaller panel, focusing on Chuck’s whole body and only Lyle’s face, in essentially the same situation.
Chuck: Although that might happen anyway.
Lyle: You’re a bitch.
Chuck: So noted.
Page 14, Panel 1: A close-up of Lyle’s face. His eyes a squinted shut very tightly, and he’s gritting his teeth. He’s being surrounded by man-headed mosquitoes buzzing around him. One is crawling into his ear. There’s another speech balloon, off panel, with Hieroglyphics being spoken instead of words. The background has degenerated to a smoky black.
Narrative Box: Oh Jesus. Oh my fucking Lord. There’s something in my ear. Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no-
Panel 2: Lyle is being surrounded by fire, and there are those freaky mosquitoes crawling around on his face. His teeth are still clenched but his eyes are wide open now. There’s a hand made entirely of bone lifting up the part of his shirt that’s showing from the netting, the hand coming FROM the netting. The hieroglyphics are still there, but they’ve changed to different hieroglyphics.
N.B: I have to say something. I have to get her to shut up. I don’t even care if she kills me later I just need her to stop talking. I don’t want to die here. Please, Jesus, not here.
Panel 3: The bony hands are now cradling the side of his head, and the flames have formed into a python that’s slithering around his neck. The mosquitoes are flying out of his mouth now, which is wide open, screaming. He’s completely terrified now, and even the Egyptian words should have melded themselves into the background by now.
N.B: I can’t do this. I hate myself. I want to die. Something’s happening to me. Something is happening! I want it to stop! I WANT IT TO STOP!
Lyle(in enormous font): I WANT IT TO STOP!!
Panel 4: A black square.
Page 15, Panel 1: A blurry image of Chuck looking down at Lyle. We’re still in her room, so that should be made obvious to the discerning eye. This should be shown from Lyle’s viewpoint.
Chuck: Hello? Are you alive?
Lyle: God in Heaven, I hope so. Hell’s a pretty crappy place to be.
Panel 2: Pretty much the same panel, except in focus.
Chuck: Yeah, no shit. That went a little bit worse than most of them do. Tell you the truth, I was freaking OUT.
Lyle: Well, it’s nice to know that I’m in responsible hand-
Panel 3: Lyle is leaning over into a pail that was placed next to him and vomiting. Chuck is leaning down next to him and patting him on the back.
Lyle: HUUUUARRRRGGGHHHH!
Chuck: Yeah, I know, baby, Hell sucks. That’s why the pail is here.
Panel 4: Lyle leans his head up from the bucket, looking scared and on the verge of hysteria.
Lyle: Oh, Jesus. That was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. That’s not something…not even the dudes on Death Row deserve that. NOBODY deserves that. I’m not ever going to…oh Jesus Christ in Heaven. Our Father…
Panel 5: Lyle is bending down in prayer, next to Chuck’s bed. She looks panicked, rushing over to bring him up from praying. It’s right about now that the reader should be able to see a chain running from the bottom of Lyle’s arm, down into an undisclosed location in the room.
Lyle: OurFatherWhoArtInHeavenHallowedBeThyNameThyKingdomeComeThyWillBeDoneOnEarthAsItIsInHeaven-
Chuck: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
Panel 6: Chuck dives into Lyle, knocking him sideways and smacking his head into the wall.
Lyle: Ahh! What the hell?!
Panel 7: Chuck is looking at Lyle in a harsh manner, with Lyle looking confused and still flustered from his trip to hell. The shot is from partially behind Lyle’s head. We can still see the chain, but once again, don’t make it a totally obvious feature.
Chuck: I appreciate that you just had a near-death experience, but that was just a TASTE of the shit that you’ll have to go through if they catch us.
Lyle: “They”? Who’s “They”?
Chuck: The CMI, that’s “They!” Look…think of it this way: Performing an act of black magic and then praying afterwards is like calling the cops after you pull a bank heist. That’s not even really the issue at hand here, okay?
Page 16: A giant one page panel. Somebody who looks very much like Lyle is lying on the floor, spread-eagled, with a chain leading from his hand to Lyle’s. The guy on the floor has a top hat, steel-toed boots and a mod jacket on. His jeans are slashed to pieces and he’s wearing an eye-patch. His mouth is hanging open. Lyle looks downright confused, and Chuck seems to be more worried than anything else.
Chuck: Let’s just get Jimmy here back inside you before he wakes up.
Page 17, Panel 1: A small panel. Nothing is visible except for the guy on the floor opening one of his eyes and shutting his mouth into a grimace.
Panel 2: Lyle and Chuck looking frightened. Also a small panel.
Panel 3: This guy who looks like Lyle sits up uneasily and starts scratching his ass. He looks like he’s just rolled out of bed, his top hat starting to slide off the side of his head, displaying patches of dark red hair. It’s from the back of Lyle and Chuck; we can only see their silhouettes from behind.
Jimmy: Jesus bike-riding Christ, is my ass sore. Feels like I’ve been living in some punk’s ribcage for about fifteen years.
Panel 4: Kind of a small panel, though not as small as the first. Jimmy is looking over in Lyle and Chuck’s direction contemptuously. He’s displaying his teeth at this point, which are, surprisingly, gleaming white.
Jimmy: Oh, wait…that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been doing, isn’t it? There any alcohol here?
Lyle: Well…we are at a party, so, probably…
Panel 5: Jimmy jets up and swings open the door. Chuck is looking at Lyle like she can’t believe what he just said, from a distance. The chain is stretching relative to distance.
Jimmy: Not “Mr.”, kid. Doctor. I’ll see you humps at the wine cooler.
Page 18, Panel 1: A close-up of the side of Lyle’s face. Chuck is almost screaming at him. Lyle looks equal parts contemplative and uncomfortable.
Chuck: You MORON! Didn’t I say, “Let’s get Jimmy back inside you before he wakes up”? Did I SAY, “Let’s expose Jimmy to alcohol”, or even better, “Let’s cut out the middleman and just burn down the fucking house”?
Lyle: …Doctor? Oh my Lord-
Panel 2: Chuck has grabbed Lyle’s hand and they’re both running out of the room and down the hall. The door to her room has been slammed open in their haste, and there are partygoers looking at the two of them run down the hall.
Lyle:-did I just talk to Doctor Jimmy? From Quadrophenia? The Goddamned WHO album?
Chuck: No, what you did was tell Doctor Jimmy where the booze was. And if you want to get technical about it, he’s not Doctor Jimmy, he’s Doctor Lyle. I was just being cute.
Panel 3: They’re both racing down the stairs at this point. Chuck looks agitated and forward, and Lyle looks like he just wants to know what’s going on, with maybe some fatigue mixed in, given the running.
Lyle: WHAT?!
Chuck: What I did up there-and it’s admittedly something I hadn’t done before-I separated you from the part of you that’s…he’s hard to describe. He’s all the malice and hatred you’ve tucked away over your lifetime. But he’s more than that, he’s more like a-I don’t know, I guess “inner demon” is the best way to describe him, clichéd as that sounds.
Lyle: And when do you think would have been a good time to tell me this, you psychotic bitch?!
Chuck: I didn’t even think it would work! NOTHING works the first time you try it! I just-
Word balloon(from off-panel): Hey, asshole! I’m talking to you!
Page 19, Panel 1: Lyle and Chuck have pushed their way through a crowd of people to see Doctor Jimmy standing in front of a guy who’s playing a video-game from a barker lounger. He’s actually the jock from earlier in the day, who threw the can at Lyle while he was playing in the park. A small circle has formed around the two of them by this point.
Doc: I asked you a question: Where’s the booze?
Guy: Can you quit being a douche-bag and step away from the T.V? I can’t see the scree-
Panel 2: A profile view of Jimmy’s leg kicking backwards into the TV screen, smashing it open.
Panel 3: From kind of far away, we can see Lyle surveying the scene with horror and Chuck with worry/puzzlement. Once again, Jimmy is standing in front of the guy playing the game. The jock looks downright enraged, and the crowd is in a state of shock. The view is from behind Doctor Jimmy, and for the first time we can see something wrapped in cloth hanging from his back like a back-pack.
Jimmy: I’m just going to ask once again, you little cum-stain: Where’s the alcohol? You have this one opportunity to tell me, or else I will take these steel toed boots of mine and I will smash my foot into your genitals, if you continue to be disrespectful towards me.
Jock: That’s it-
Panel 4: The jock throws a punch at Doctor Jimmy, which is swiftly dodged.
Jock: You’re fucking dead!
Doctor Jimmy: You know, your girl’s a virgin.
Panel 5: Only thing shown is the lower half of both of their bodies: Jimmy, from behind, kicks the jock in the crotch with one massive, swift motion, that’s obviously using a lot of his force.
Jimmy: Guess I’ll have to be the first one in, huh?
SFX: CRUUUUNCHHHH
Panel 6: The jock is lying on the ground, clasping his groin. Jimmy has one boot on his chest. The crowd is still in a state of complete shock. The panel is from a top-down view. Doctor Jimmy is looking around at the crowd.
Doctor Jimmy: Nah, I’m just kidding, your girl isn’t a virgin. I’m still gonna fuck her, though.
Page 20, Panel 1: Jimmy is looking around the room still, but he’s stepped off of the jock. He’s walking around now, still looking at the stunned partygoers.
Jimmy: C’mon, kids. This is a party, innit? Let’s have some fun! Don’t let this little turd ruin EVERYBODY’S good time, eh? The ball-smashing was a bit over the top. True, true. But live and let live, huh? Even if it’s not really living without the hackeysacks. Huh? Am I right, fellas?
Panel 2: A close-up of Jimmy’s face looking around at the rest of the party, utterly contemptuous.
Panel 3: Jimmy starts to walk towards the kitchen. Everyone is still looking at him, scared.
Jimmy: Ah, fuck the lot of ya. I’m gonna fix myself a stiff drink, then get the fuck outta here. You kids got no idea how to have fun.
Panel 4: Just a shot of Chuck and Lyle among all of the gaping faces. They’re both looking frightened, Lyle moreso than Chuck.
Lyle: Chuck…this guy is a monster. We have to get him out of here-he’s going to kill somebody.
Chuck: I agree, but he just said he was going to leave soon. Maybe nothing else bad is going to happen-
Page 21, Panel 1: Taking up most of the page, a shot of the front door to the house.
Voice(from behind the door): Police! We have reports of a domestic disturbance from this address! We’re coming in in three..two…
Panel 2: A small panel, of Doctor Jimmy’s face whirling around. One hand is reaching behind him to grab whatever’s in the cloth container on his back.
Jimmy: Cops…
Panel 4: A shot of a frightened girl’s face, small, in the corner.
Girl: OH MY GOD, HE’S GOT A GUN!
Page 22: One big shot of Doctor Jimmy pointing the shotgun outwards. The background has turned into a big, featureless blob of red. Jimmy has a cigarette in his mouth now, the smoke contrasting with the red. The only other figure in the shot is Lyle, connected by the chain, far in the background.
Jimmy: I hate cops.
SFX: Ch-Chk!
Narrative Box: Shit.
TO BE CONTINUED
Into The Mystic Issue #1
Chris Jones
Page 1, Panel 1: A young man (Lyle) sits on a bench in the park, with a guitar. It’s fairly far away from the kid, and it’s around sunset. He’s playing the guitar, people are walking past him. It’s not a busy hour, but there are still plenty of people. Note that there’s no receptacle for him to get money for his guitar playing. He’s about 15 years old, in a bomber jacket, with brown hair. He’s maybe 5’7, 140 pounds. He looks quite into what he’s singing, a Radiohead song. He’s playing an Austin Bazaar 38” black guitar.
Narrative Box(Lyle): I’m not doing this because I want people to give me money.
Lyle(singing): Two jumps in a week, I bet you think that’s pretty clever, doooooon’t you boy…
Panel 2: We’re behind Lyle now, still at a distance. We see people passing in front of him, and we can’t see his face really well. We just know that he’s intense about what he’s singing.
Narrative Box: I’m not doing this because I got this guitar on Amazon for like forty bucks and wanted to test it out.
Lyle: Flying on your motorcycle, watching all the ground beneath you drooooooppppp…
Panel 3: We’re closer to Lyle now, the shot situated directly in front of him. He’s tapping his foot up and down. Maybe we have people entering and exiting the panel why he’s playing the song?
Narrative Box: I’m not doing this because my girlfriend lives two cities away and hasn’t called me in like a week.
Lyle: You’d kill yourself for recognition, kill yourself to never, ever stoooooooop…
Panel 4: Now we’re pretty much at a side angle on Lyle’s face, with very little else in the shot, save for maybe a tree and a trash can in the background, or some other parkish thing. He’s really getting into it now.
Narrative Box: I’m not doing this because I want somebody outside of my little cult of friends to acknowledge that I exist.
Lyle: You broke another mirror, you’re turning into something yoouuu arrrreee nooooootttt…
Panel 5: We’re at about the angle we were in Panel 3, maybe just a little bit closer, and an empty can of soda has just flown through the air and beaned Lyle on the side of the head. He is noticeably displeased about this.
Narrative Box: I’m not doing this because I don’t like who I see in the mirror, and think that if somebody else likes me, maybe I will too.
Lyle: So don’t leave me hiiiiiiigh….don’t leave me drrryyyyyyy-Agh! What the hell-?!
Page 2: Splash page. Lyle’s sitting on the bench, hunched over, clutching the neck of his guitar. A large, jockish character is walking away with a girl around his arm and the girl is laughing. Lyle’s staring directly at the reader at this point, bitterly.
Jock: Hey, kid! You SUCK!
Girl: Aww, that’s so mean-!
Narrative Box: I’ve never even seen this guy before. I can’t have been playing THAT badly, can I?
HOUSE PARTY-PART 1
Page 3, Panel 1: Lyle just looks sad now, holding his guitar limply at his side, staring at the ground. There are little motion marks by his jeans pocket, indicating a cellphone buzz.
N.B: In some ways, I guess I should be grateful that ANYONE notices me, because I have pretty much no personality aside from being a whiny loser. At least, that’s how I see it.
SFX: Brrrrrzzzz
Panel 2: A hand, looking down at the cell phone screen. Pretty much nothing else besides the hand holding the cell phone and the screen is visible.
Screen: party 2nite u comin?
N.B: I keep hoping Miranda will call me. Instead, it’s my friend Jared.
Panel 3: Lyle’s face, looking contemplative. We can see him gripping the cell phone, still. It’s a shot essentially from the arm up.
N.B: Jared’s an asshole. At one party he promised me that he was going to get me laid and then locked me in an empty room for twenty minutes while he gathered up all the drunk hotties and got blown more times in one evening than most guys do in a span of six months. I’d be an idiot to let him talk me into going to another one.
Panel 4: Kind of a hazy panel of Lyle standing in a room that’s pretty much invisible to the viewer except for the door frame and what’s outside of it, which is Jared mildly drunk and some women who are severely drunk fawning around him. Lyle is standing just in front of them, three quarters view, hunched over, clutching a bottle of vodka, looking cock-eyed and concentrated into the room. It should be pretty comical.
Jared: I’m telling you, man, there’s a…ghost, right there, and you can only see him if you stare at him for like…half an hour.
Jared(2): I’m gonna go do stuff.
Lyle: ‘Kay.
Panel 5: Pretty much the same panel except that the door has slammed shut and we just see Lyle now.
Panel 6: Lyle looks out at the reader, kind of stupefied.
Panel 7: Lyle’s carrying the guitar on his back, walking away from the park down the path. People are traversing through the background, with Lyle holding a cigarette in one hand and fumbling with a lighter in another.
N.B: Well, what else am I going to do with my time, go to school? Not fucking likely.
Page 4: I’d like this page to be set up more vertically than the others, with a series of smaller, square panels going down it as opposed to a normal layout.
Panel 1: Lyle’s sitting at his desk with a teacher standing over him, profile view. He’s awkwardly searching through his backpack, papers flying out all over his desk.
Box: Period 1
Lyle: Look, I KNOW I packed it this morning. Just give me a minute, I know it’s in here-
Panel 2: Lyle is leaning over his desk, staring at the exposed thong strings of the girl sitting in front of him. He’s got kind of a sheepish smile on his face, with the girl turning around, looking at him as any girl would look at some weirdo looking at her ass.
Box: Period 4
Balloon(off panel): Lyle? Can you repeat to the class what I just said? Lyle?
Panel 3: Lyle is sitting in front of a window, his mouth wide open and drool coming out of his mouth, his head leaned back and slumping over the back of the chair. The kid sitting next to him is asleep also, his head passed out on Lyle’s desk.
Box: Period 6
Teacher: So if we carry the four and divide by six…
Panel 4: Lyle is sitting in his desk, staring intently at his watch. Once again, everyone around him is laughing, and once again, the teacher casts an imposing silhouette over Lyle.
Box: Period 8
Lyle: As a matter of fact, I don’t think it would be at ALL unreasonable to let us out twenty minutes early, if all you’re going to do is jabber on about lymph nodes and dendrites or whatever the hell it is you people find so attractive about biology. That’s all I’m saying.
Page 5, Panel 1: Lyle is walking up the steps to his house; not exactly run down, but not really a fancy place, either; think lower middle-class. There’s a Pinto parked in the tiny garage next to the house, and a basketball that’s been ripped to shreds.
N.B: It’s actually been pretty easy to fool my dad into thinking I’ve been going to school. I get home a full four hours before he does, so all I have to do is delete any e-mails and erase any calls that have the words “failing”, “truancy” or “attacked so-and–so with such-and-such” and he spends every day thinking I’m a productive student.
Panel 2: Lyle is unlocking the door to his house, with a weary look on his face. He still has a cigarette in his mouth during all of this page. Profile view.
N.B: I’ve been suspended twice this year for fighting alone. He doesn’t suspect. Not even a little.
Panel 3: A big panel, the focus of the page. Lyle is walking through his living room to the steps to the top floor. The living room is absurdly cluttered; there are clothes lying on the floor, beer and soda cans lying all over the place, pizza boxes, magazines and DVD boxes lying all over the place.
N.B: Sometimes I just want to kill myself.
Panel 4: We’re in his room(I’ll let you decide what it would look like, given what we know about the character, the only thing is that I think there should be a desk next to his bed) The window is open, and there’s a small bird resting on the sill. This is from an over-the-shoulder view of Lyle looking into his room.
Panel 5: Lyle is stroking the small bird with his hand. He’s smiling wistfully at the little animal, as though it were a lover or a friend he identified with on every level. He’s putting his cigarette out on the windowsill, next to the bird.
Page 6: Lyle is lying in his bed, his jacket strewn over a chair. It’s a birds-eye view of Lyle taking a nap, the sun streaming through the window and onto the bed. The little bird is perched on his desk and pecking at little crumbs on it. Note that it’s actually Lyle saying this in real time, and not a narrative box.
Lyle: But not today.
Page 7, Panel 1: Lyle jets up out of bed, a startled look on his face. Small panel, not much else is visible. Maybe he scares the little bird by sitting up so fast.
Box: Two hours pass
Lyle: HOLY SHIT, THE PARTY!
Panel 2: Lyle is throwing on his jacket and dashing down the stairs, the single bud of an earphone slinking down below his neck. His dad is lying on the couch with his hand over his eyes, tired.
Lyle: See you later, Dad!
Dad: Have fun.
Panel 3: Dad moves his hand away so that you can see one eye. A small panel, once again.
Panel 4: The exact same panel, but with a word balloon.
Dad: Since when has that boy had ANYWHERE to be getting to?
Panel 5: Lyle is walking down the street, nervously pulling out his cell-phone. He just walked past a streetlight, and he’s definitely out of his neighborhood and into a more urban area by this point.
N.B: Goddamn it. I don’t even know where this thing is supposed to be. Fuck me. Fuck me sideways. Where am I?
Panel 6: Lyle is walking up the steps to a house much more upper-class than he’s used to being at, and it’s evident on his face. A girl in a dress is hugging him as he walks up the steps.
Box: 20 minutes later
Girl: LYLE! I’m so glad that you made it. Jared said that you had come down with violent diarrhea and might have to stay home.
Lyle: Did he, isn’t that something…
Page 8, Panel 1: A big panel of a gigantic room, swarming with partygoers. Everyone is drinking, hanging around, having a good time. The house is money, bordering on a mansion.
Lyle: Nice, um…place you got here, Lucy. Big.
Lucy: Isn’t it? C’mon, there’s beer over in the kitchen.
Lyle: Scotch?
Lucy: Scotch is in the kitchen also.
Lyle: To the kitchen.
Panel 2: Jared, a huge, lanky skater-type, puts Lyle in a headlock. He’s holding Lyle’s head in one hand and a beer in the other. He’s clearly drunk. Lyle looks embarrassed as well as struggling to breathe, and Lucy looks slightly repulsed.
Jared: BRO!! You made it!
Lyle: It’s…nice to see you too, J.
Jared: Dude. There is something you have GOT to see upstairs.
Panel 3: Lyle is looking up at Jared, from the perspective of the back of Jason’s head. Lyle is looking slightly concerned, hoping that Jason will understand what he’s saying.
Lyle: Actually, Jared, I’m…sorta going to go get sloshed with Lucy. Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait until after I’m drunk.
Jared: Ah, bro, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had a thing for this chick. I’ll leave you alone. Tell me if the head is good!
Panel 4: Lyle is turning nervously from Jared to Lucy. He has a nervous smile on his face. Jared looks like he’s about to start laughing, and Lucy has her head in her hand. The party continues in the background.
Lyle: Ha, you know what, I think I’ll go with you up to the…place. Jared. Lucy, are you-?
Lucy: I’m fine.
Lyle: Awesome, awesome. Dibs on the scotch, a’ight?
Lucy: Sure.
Panel 5: From a front-view, Lyle and Jared are walking up the stairs. Lyle looks positively enraged, and Jared is as laid back as can be. There’s a couple on the stairs making out, in a sense almost adding insult to injury.
Lyle: I hate you so much I could scream.
Jared: You can’t afford to hate me, bro. I’m the only friend you’ve got who can get you into parties.
Lyle: And if you’re going to keep cock-blocking me than what’s the point of going in the first place?!?
Panel 6: A very small panel. We can see by Jared’s sleeve that he’s the one opening the door. All we see is Jared’s hand turning the knob.
Lyle(off panel): Dude, whatever this little expedition is, if it’s going to keep me from getting laid than it had better be pretty…fucking…
Page 9: A splash page. Lyle is standing in the doorway of a room filled with demonic wall-scrolls, enchantments, pages of the Bible plastered to the wall, and all kinds of other goth crap littered around(you might know this stuff better than I do, so try to make it look legitimate, but still have an air of magic about it.) A kid in a Polo shirt is being levitated by an Asian goth girl sitting cross-legged on her bed. She’s raising her hands almost as though she were cupping water to her mouth. The boy being levitated has an expression of euphoria on his face. He’s on his back, floating up and down in one place. The hands should signify that she’s holding him in the same spot. Lyle is simply awestruck, and Jason is just leaning against the wall, smug.
Lyle:…Fantastic…
Jared: Told ya.
Kid: Holy shit. Holy shit! How are you doing this?!
Goth girl: Magic, honey.
Page 10, Panel 1: Lyle is walking around the kid who’s floating, still amazed, and looking at the Goth girl. She’s turned her attention to Lyle.
Lyle: Okay, seriously…how are you doing that? I can’t see wires or anything. What’s the trick?
Girl: The trick is magic. Lord, you’re a thick bunch. My name’s Chyuk-Yi, by the way, Chuck for short. I went by “Azraella” for a couple of years, back when I was first getting into this occult shit, but about the time I turned 15 I realized that it made me sound like a character from a D&D manual and-
Panel 2: The kid in the polo shirt drops to the ground with a thud. Both Chuck and Lyle’s attentions are turned to the kid, and you can only see the back of their heads. I’d like this panel and the two after it to be organized in kind of a “stacked” formation, this one on top of the other two.
Chuck: Ah, hell. See what you made me do? You okay, kid?
Panel 3: Pretty much exactly the same panel, except that the kid is sitting up now.
Kid: Holy shit, you kiddin’? I’ve never felt better! I’ve gotta tell my friends about this!
Panel 4: Once again, the same panel, except that the kid has left the room entirely.
Panel 5: Chuck, from profile view, is locking the door to her room with a key. She looks slightly exasperated.
Chuck: What a hassle. These frat fucks are always the first to come to me for “fun”. I probably just gave that guy’s soul to the King of Spiders and he won’t even realize it until he tries to get a girl pregnant.
Lyle(off panel): That seems…harsh.
Chuck: Magic’s some trippy shit, Mr., ah…I don’t ever think I got your name.
Lyle: Lyle.
Panel 6: Chuck is walking back towards Lyle, who is sitting on the bed, her back to the reader, with Lyle looking vaguely frightened.
Chuck: Lyle. Got it.
Lyle: So, uh…why did you lock the door?
Chuck: I need to concentrate to pull off the heavy shit.
Lyle: “The heavy shit”?
Chuck: Yeah, there’s something I want to try. Hold still.
Page 11, Panel 1: Lyle’s jumped up onto his feet by now. He looks quite scared. The room has gotten a strange lighting at this point; half of all the things visible have been washed in black, including Lyle’s side and the part of Chuck that we can see. We can only see the back of Chuck, still.
Lyle: Whoa, wait. Wait a second. I’m all for experimenting with the forces of magic. I totally get that. Fuck, even I’M a little surprised at how nonchalantly I’ve taken the floating frat kid, and I think I’ve been a good sport by not running away from the crazy bitch who wants to suck out my soul.
Chuck: Yeah, you’ve been pretty cool about this whole thing, actually. Most people just kind of shit their pants at this point.
Lyle: See! Exactly my point. So, hey, I can go down and get Jared and you can try this Voodoo shit on his stoned self, alright. And then you and me, it’ll be like we never even had this conversation, yeah? Because you’ll be preoccupied with sucking out his soul or whatever crazy fucking thing you-WERE-about to do with me, and I can go on, y’know…living. With my soul.
Chuck: You talk a lot. It’s cute. Not particularly masculine, but…cute, in a shivering puppy sort of way.
Panel 2: Lyle is backing up towards the door by now, smiling nervously, with his hand on the door knob. She’s looking at him like he’s kind of stupid. From a mostly profile view.
Lyle: Alright, so now that that’s settled, I’ll just get the FUCK out of here-
Page 12, Panel 1: A close-up of Chuck. The background has gone completely red, here eyes are glassy, and the angle is three quarters, her front side facing towards the reader. There’s a green mist coming out of her hand, which she’s holding towards the reader.
Chuck: Sit down, you big pussy.
Panel 2: The green light has wrapped itself around Lyle. He’s looking at the light as though it were a snake constricting him. Chuck is watching with her arms folded. No dialogue.
Panel 3: Now Lyle is looking at Chuck in a way that bespeaks skepticism. She’s rolling her eyes at him.
Lyle: So you’ve gone from levitation to throwing ropes on people? Jesus. Most magicians will at least do a card trick after they pull the rabbit out of the hat.
Chuck: Oh my GOD, you are such a skeevey dork. No wonder your girlfriend is cheating on you, I’d be screwing other guys just out of spite at this point.
Panel 4: Lyle is staring down at the ground and away from Chuck. He’s gritting his teeth. Chuck looks sort of pleased, in a malicious kind of way. She’s touching his nose, in that cutsey sort of way that couples do occasionally.
Lyle: Go fuck yourself.
Chuck: Nah. But it’s good to see you showing something besides contempt. The Chandler act was getting a little old, anyways. Alright, now…
Panel 5: Lyle, with his bondage, has been flung to the ceiling of the room. The light has turned into more of a sticky spider-web keeping him to the ceiling than ropes or chains, as it was before. He’s hit the ceiling with a thud. Chuck has the face of a little girl who’s playfully involved in a game of basketball. She’s raised her hand up and cupped it, with the green light still coming out of it.
Chuck: …UP YOU GO!
Lyle: AGH!
Page 13, Panel 1: From a profile view, Chuck is looking at Lyle, her head tilted back, with Lyle in a rage. The room has gone smoky with the green light.
(Note: I want the first three panels to be pretty small. The last three should be the focus of the page)
Chuck: Now, if we’re quite done beating around the bush-
Lyle: WE?! Fuck you! Get me down from here!
Chuck:…if we’re QUITE done, I want to try something. I want you to think about a girl you’ve always wanted to fuck, but you never got the chance to, either because of her big stupid boyfriend who would’ve pounded the hell out of you, or you were just too much of a chickenshit to ask her out. Which, in your case, I’m imagining won’t be too hard to visualize.
Lyle: Holy Christ, I’m on the ceiling. I’m on the fucking ceiling.
Chuck: I know you are. I put you there. Now do what I just said or you’re going to get your spirit torn in half. Like, seriously.
Panel 2: A small picture of Lyle closing his eyes and keeping them shut tightly, screwing up his face.
Narrative Box: Fuck me. Fuck me in the TEETH.
Panel 3: A smaller panel, focusing on Chuck’s whole body and only Lyle’s face, in essentially the same situation.
Chuck: Although that might happen anyway.
Lyle: You’re a bitch.
Chuck: So noted.
Page 14, Panel 1: A close-up of Lyle’s face. His eyes a squinted shut very tightly, and he’s gritting his teeth. He’s being surrounded by man-headed mosquitoes buzzing around him. One is crawling into his ear. There’s another speech balloon, off panel, with Hieroglyphics being spoken instead of words. The background has degenerated to a smoky black.
Narrative Box: Oh Jesus. Oh my fucking Lord. There’s something in my ear. Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no-
Panel 2: Lyle is being surrounded by fire, and there are those freaky mosquitoes crawling around on his face. His teeth are still clenched but his eyes are wide open now. There’s a hand made entirely of bone lifting up the part of his shirt that’s showing from the netting, the hand coming FROM the netting. The hieroglyphics are still there, but they’ve changed to different hieroglyphics.
N.B: I have to say something. I have to get her to shut up. I don’t even care if she kills me later I just need her to stop talking. I don’t want to die here. Please, Jesus, not here.
Panel 3: The bony hands are now cradling the side of his head, and the flames have formed into a python that’s slithering around his neck. The mosquitoes are flying out of his mouth now, which is wide open, screaming. He’s completely terrified now, and even the Egyptian words should have melded themselves into the background by now.
N.B: I can’t do this. I hate myself. I want to die. Something’s happening to me. Something is happening! I want it to stop! I WANT IT TO STOP!
Lyle(in enormous font): I WANT IT TO STOP!!
Panel 4: A black square.
Page 15, Panel 1: A blurry image of Chuck looking down at Lyle. We’re still in her room, so that should be made obvious to the discerning eye. This should be shown from Lyle’s viewpoint.
Chuck: Hello? Are you alive?
Lyle: God in Heaven, I hope so. Hell’s a pretty crappy place to be.
Panel 2: Pretty much the same panel, except in focus.
Chuck: Yeah, no shit. That went a little bit worse than most of them do. Tell you the truth, I was freaking OUT.
Lyle: Well, it’s nice to know that I’m in responsible hand-
Panel 3: Lyle is leaning over into a pail that was placed next to him and vomiting. Chuck is leaning down next to him and patting him on the back.
Lyle: HUUUUARRRRGGGHHHH!
Chuck: Yeah, I know, baby, Hell sucks. That’s why the pail is here.
Panel 4: Lyle leans his head up from the bucket, looking scared and on the verge of hysteria.
Lyle: Oh, Jesus. That was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. That’s not something…not even the dudes on Death Row deserve that. NOBODY deserves that. I’m not ever going to…oh Jesus Christ in Heaven. Our Father…
Panel 5: Lyle is bending down in prayer, next to Chuck’s bed. She looks panicked, rushing over to bring him up from praying. It’s right about now that the reader should be able to see a chain running from the bottom of Lyle’s arm, down into an undisclosed location in the room.
Lyle: OurFatherWhoArtInHeavenHallowedBeThyNameThyKingdomeComeThyWillBeDoneOnEarthAsItIsInHeaven-
Chuck: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
Panel 6: Chuck dives into Lyle, knocking him sideways and smacking his head into the wall.
Lyle: Ahh! What the hell?!
Panel 7: Chuck is looking at Lyle in a harsh manner, with Lyle looking confused and still flustered from his trip to hell. The shot is from partially behind Lyle’s head. We can still see the chain, but once again, don’t make it a totally obvious feature.
Chuck: I appreciate that you just had a near-death experience, but that was just a TASTE of the shit that you’ll have to go through if they catch us.
Lyle: “They”? Who’s “They”?
Chuck: The CMI, that’s “They!” Look…think of it this way: Performing an act of black magic and then praying afterwards is like calling the cops after you pull a bank heist. That’s not even really the issue at hand here, okay?
Page 16: A giant one page panel. Somebody who looks very much like Lyle is lying on the floor, spread-eagled, with a chain leading from his hand to Lyle’s. The guy on the floor has a top hat, steel-toed boots and a mod jacket on. His jeans are slashed to pieces and he’s wearing an eye-patch. His mouth is hanging open. Lyle looks downright confused, and Chuck seems to be more worried than anything else.
Chuck: Let’s just get Jimmy here back inside you before he wakes up.
Page 17, Panel 1: A small panel. Nothing is visible except for the guy on the floor opening one of his eyes and shutting his mouth into a grimace.
Panel 2: Lyle and Chuck looking frightened. Also a small panel.
Panel 3: This guy who looks like Lyle sits up uneasily and starts scratching his ass. He looks like he’s just rolled out of bed, his top hat starting to slide off the side of his head, displaying patches of dark red hair. It’s from the back of Lyle and Chuck; we can only see their silhouettes from behind.
Jimmy: Jesus bike-riding Christ, is my ass sore. Feels like I’ve been living in some punk’s ribcage for about fifteen years.
Panel 4: Kind of a small panel, though not as small as the first. Jimmy is looking over in Lyle and Chuck’s direction contemptuously. He’s displaying his teeth at this point, which are, surprisingly, gleaming white.
Jimmy: Oh, wait…that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been doing, isn’t it? There any alcohol here?
Lyle: Well…we are at a party, so, probably…
Panel 5: Jimmy jets up and swings open the door. Chuck is looking at Lyle like she can’t believe what he just said, from a distance. The chain is stretching relative to distance.
Jimmy: Not “Mr.”, kid. Doctor. I’ll see you humps at the wine cooler.
Page 18, Panel 1: A close-up of the side of Lyle’s face. Chuck is almost screaming at him. Lyle looks equal parts contemplative and uncomfortable.
Chuck: You MORON! Didn’t I say, “Let’s get Jimmy back inside you before he wakes up”? Did I SAY, “Let’s expose Jimmy to alcohol”, or even better, “Let’s cut out the middleman and just burn down the fucking house”?
Lyle: …Doctor? Oh my Lord-
Panel 2: Chuck has grabbed Lyle’s hand and they’re both running out of the room and down the hall. The door to her room has been slammed open in their haste, and there are partygoers looking at the two of them run down the hall.
Lyle:-did I just talk to Doctor Jimmy? From Quadrophenia? The Goddamned WHO album?
Chuck: No, what you did was tell Doctor Jimmy where the booze was. And if you want to get technical about it, he’s not Doctor Jimmy, he’s Doctor Lyle. I was just being cute.
Panel 3: They’re both racing down the stairs at this point. Chuck looks agitated and forward, and Lyle looks like he just wants to know what’s going on, with maybe some fatigue mixed in, given the running.
Lyle: WHAT?!
Chuck: What I did up there-and it’s admittedly something I hadn’t done before-I separated you from the part of you that’s…he’s hard to describe. He’s all the malice and hatred you’ve tucked away over your lifetime. But he’s more than that, he’s more like a-I don’t know, I guess “inner demon” is the best way to describe him, clichéd as that sounds.
Lyle: And when do you think would have been a good time to tell me this, you psychotic bitch?!
Chuck: I didn’t even think it would work! NOTHING works the first time you try it! I just-
Word balloon(from off-panel): Hey, asshole! I’m talking to you!
Page 19, Panel 1: Lyle and Chuck have pushed their way through a crowd of people to see Doctor Jimmy standing in front of a guy who’s playing a video-game from a barker lounger. He’s actually the jock from earlier in the day, who threw the can at Lyle while he was playing in the park. A small circle has formed around the two of them by this point.
Doc: I asked you a question: Where’s the booze?
Guy: Can you quit being a douche-bag and step away from the T.V? I can’t see the scree-
Panel 2: A profile view of Jimmy’s leg kicking backwards into the TV screen, smashing it open.
Panel 3: From kind of far away, we can see Lyle surveying the scene with horror and Chuck with worry/puzzlement. Once again, Jimmy is standing in front of the guy playing the game. The jock looks downright enraged, and the crowd is in a state of shock. The view is from behind Doctor Jimmy, and for the first time we can see something wrapped in cloth hanging from his back like a back-pack.
Jimmy: I’m just going to ask once again, you little cum-stain: Where’s the alcohol? You have this one opportunity to tell me, or else I will take these steel toed boots of mine and I will smash my foot into your genitals, if you continue to be disrespectful towards me.
Jock: That’s it-
Panel 4: The jock throws a punch at Doctor Jimmy, which is swiftly dodged.
Jock: You’re fucking dead!
Doctor Jimmy: You know, your girl’s a virgin.
Panel 5: Only thing shown is the lower half of both of their bodies: Jimmy, from behind, kicks the jock in the crotch with one massive, swift motion, that’s obviously using a lot of his force.
Jimmy: Guess I’ll have to be the first one in, huh?
SFX: CRUUUUNCHHHH
Panel 6: The jock is lying on the ground, clasping his groin. Jimmy has one boot on his chest. The crowd is still in a state of complete shock. The panel is from a top-down view. Doctor Jimmy is looking around at the crowd.
Doctor Jimmy: Nah, I’m just kidding, your girl isn’t a virgin. I’m still gonna fuck her, though.
Page 20, Panel 1: Jimmy is looking around the room still, but he’s stepped off of the jock. He’s walking around now, still looking at the stunned partygoers.
Jimmy: C’mon, kids. This is a party, innit? Let’s have some fun! Don’t let this little turd ruin EVERYBODY’S good time, eh? The ball-smashing was a bit over the top. True, true. But live and let live, huh? Even if it’s not really living without the hackeysacks. Huh? Am I right, fellas?
Panel 2: A close-up of Jimmy’s face looking around at the rest of the party, utterly contemptuous.
Panel 3: Jimmy starts to walk towards the kitchen. Everyone is still looking at him, scared.
Jimmy: Ah, fuck the lot of ya. I’m gonna fix myself a stiff drink, then get the fuck outta here. You kids got no idea how to have fun.
Panel 4: Just a shot of Chuck and Lyle among all of the gaping faces. They’re both looking frightened, Lyle moreso than Chuck.
Lyle: Chuck…this guy is a monster. We have to get him out of here-he’s going to kill somebody.
Chuck: I agree, but he just said he was going to leave soon. Maybe nothing else bad is going to happen-
Page 21, Panel 1: Taking up most of the page, a shot of the front door to the house.
Voice(from behind the door): Police! We have reports of a domestic disturbance from this address! We’re coming in in three..two…
Panel 2: A small panel, of Doctor Jimmy’s face whirling around. One hand is reaching behind him to grab whatever’s in the cloth container on his back.
Jimmy: Cops…
Panel 4: A shot of a frightened girl’s face, small, in the corner.
Girl: OH MY GOD, HE’S GOT A GUN!
Page 22: One big shot of Doctor Jimmy pointing the shotgun outwards. The background has turned into a big, featureless blob of red. Jimmy has a cigarette in his mouth now, the smoke contrasting with the red. The only other figure in the shot is Lyle, connected by the chain, far in the background.
Jimmy: I hate cops.
SFX: Ch-Chk!
Narrative Box: Shit.
TO BE CONTINUED
My first blog post. Yay!
Hey folks. My name is Chris Jones. I write comics(currently not as a profession). I'm going to use this space to show you what comics I write, and some of the art by the woman I'm currently working with to make this project come to life, Serena Guerra.
Alright! Next post you'll get some script, and some artwork. Glad to meet you!
Alright! Next post you'll get some script, and some artwork. Glad to meet you!
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